


I Promise I'll Be Better

by Austinattack



Series: Promise Verse [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Consensual Choking, Crying, Fingering, Fluff, Frottage, Hair Pulling, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Minor Violence, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Oral Sex, Rimming, Rough Sex, Slight Age Difference, Smut, Top!Harry, bottom!Louis, but it's brief and I will mention it before it happens, diner au, domestic abuse, love making, tagging everything in the world just in case
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-29
Updated: 2015-08-22
Packaged: 2018-02-06 17:52:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 26,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1866978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Austinattack/pseuds/Austinattack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Diner AU. Harry works the late shift at Oliver's Diner. He meets Louis, who only ever orders coffee at one AM. Louis has shaky hands and bruised wrists and Harry wants to know why. Harry invites Louis home with him one night, when Louis implies he has no where to go. Harry wants to know everything about Louis. Louis doesn't know if he's willing to share anything at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Oslo Blues

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. I don't know how long this will be. Although I'm posting now, (obviously) I'd still love to have a beta to help me britpick. Because I'm sure there are problems with this. So if you'd like to help me out, I'd love you :)  
> I only posted a bit of it, as well, cuz I'm selfish and would like some interest before I post more, haha. 
> 
> **This is a work of fiction! Please do not send to anyone in, or in relation to One Direction.**
> 
> Title is from Sleeping At Last's 'Light'  
> Chapter names and snipits of lyrics before each chapter are all from You+Me's 'Rose Ave.'

_So if the world is round now, why can't we have everything?  
'Cause the highs are so high, these lows are killing me._

_*_

It was late. Or, early, rather. Around one in the morning, actually, and Harry shouldn’t have been working. But Harry, being Harry, was way too nice to decline the request for him to stay late at the diner.

Abbey really needed to go home though, because her boyfriend had just arrived and she hadn’t seen him in a whole two days. Harry didn’t want to be the only factor standing between his friend and the love of her life. And plus, he had nothing to do, so why not? And he could use the extra cash. They’d be closing at two, anyway.

There strangely hadn’t been many customers since about nine. Just a few insomniac men and women, drifting in and out for milkshakes or coffee; a drunken couple who’s only mission was to get blueberry pancakes, which unfortunately the diner had been out of blueberries; and a kid with tears on his face, and a huge back pack over his shoulders, who didn’t have enough money to even buy a slice of pie. Harry gave him a piece and a hot chocolate anyway, sitting down across from the kid, who couldn’t have been much younger than Harry was, and talked to him for a good hour. Harry had convinced the boy to go back home, instead of carrying out his plan of running away.

Now, Harry was humming along happily to the song playing over the stereo, while he wiped a spill off a recently emptied table, when he heard the quiet ding of the door opening and closing.

“Evening,” he called with a smile, to the man who walked in and sank down into one of the stools at the counter. Harry finished wiping the table, and quickly scurried to get behind the counter so he could hand the man a menu.

“Coffee,” the man said, not even acknowledging the menu Harry had lay down.

“Oh, sure,” Harry said, grabbing a mug from the back counter, and filling it with coffee. He set the cup, as well as a bowl of creamers in front of the man, who ignored the bowl, instantly bringing the mug to his lips.

Harry watched for a moment, eyes focused on the shaky way the guy held the mug, the dark circles under his blue eyes, and the way his hair seemed to be tangled in the front. “Are you all right?” Harry asked quietly.

The man finally looked up, a frown set upon his lips. “Bit invasive, innit?“

“Oh, uh, I didn’t mean anything by it,” Harry said, eyebrows furrowing. “Sorry,” he added, before turning away so he could wipe down the other end of the counter.

The man sat there for a while, just staring down into his mug that Harry kept refilling every time it was emptied. Harry glanced at him every once in a while, and saw how his hands kept clenching and unclenching into fists, or how his jaw would set while his eyes squeezed shut.

When two AM rolled around, the cook came out of the kitchen, using their known signal for Harry to get rid of the guy at the counter because it was time to close. Harry nodded and stalled a little, making sure most things were already taken care of for the night. He eventually made his way back to the strange man, who was still glaring at his mug.

“Hi, um, we’ve got to close up now,” Harry said softly, setting his hands on the counter.

The man nodded, and stood up, pushing his mug forward while he reached for his wallet, pulling a few bills out, and set them on the counter.

Harry shook his head, picking up the mug. “On the house, yeah?” he said, offering a smile.

The man shrugged, and took his money back, and put his wallet away. “Thanks,” he mumbled before shoving his hands in his jacket pockets, turning, and leaving the diner.

“It’s two sixteen, Styles,” Duncan shouted from the kitchen, coming out from the swinging doors. “We close at two. Gotta learn to kick people out, mate.”

Harry sighed and checked everything over again. “He was just having coffee. Not like he was eating or doing anything messy.”

Duncan shook his head. “All customers out at two,” he repeated. “This is why you don’t close.”

Harry rolled his eyes and grabbed his jacket from under the counter, slipping it over his shoulders. “Sorry, mate. I’ll try to tone down my excellent customer service, next time.”

“Good,” Duncan said, turning the lights off, and giving Harry’s shoulder a friendly punch.

Harry stumbled a little, laughing as they stepped out into the September chill. He locked the door behind them, and said goodnight to Duncan, turning the opposite direction and walking towards his flat.

***

The flat smelled heavily of permanent markers when Harry stepped inside. He turned the corner, and titled his head, seeing Zayn sprawled out on the floor of their front room, a giant piece of paper in front of him. He was very carefully filling in the entire paper with black marker.

“You know, there are easier ways to asphyxiate yourself, Zee,” Harry said, pulling his jacket off and throwing it on the back of the sofa.

Zayn shushed him, throwing the marker cap at him. “I’m making art.”

“You’re mental,” Harry said, flopping down on the sofa, throwing an arm over his face.

“Rough day at the office, mate?” Zayn asked, sitting up and looking at Harry.

“Just long. I’m tired,” Harry said, rubbing his eyes. “Will you make me some tea?”

“Want me to rub your feet and kiss you goodnight, too?” Zayn teased, still getting up and walking into their kitchen to make the tea.

“Would be nice,” Harry shouted to him, smiling. He sat up, and arched his back, feeling it crack in all the right places, before standing and going to the window, opening it a little to let some of the smell out. He was starting to get a headache.

“All right?” Zayn asked, as he carried a red mug over to Harry, who was still stood at the window. ”You’re doing that far off gaze-y thing again.”

Harry smiled and took the mug, holding it with both hands. “I’m fine. Sleepy, is all.”

“Go to bed, then,” Zayn said, bending down to pick up his markers and the blackened paper.

Harry nodded and sipped his tea as he walked towards his room. “Thanks,” he said to Zayn, motioning to his mug. “Goodnight.”

“Night,” Zayn called, watching as Harry slipped into his bedroom and closed the door.

Harry set his mug on his nightstand, and dropped down on his bed, face first. He meant to only lie for a few minutes, but he fell asleep, and didn’t wake up until eight. His head popped up as he heard a loud clanging sound coming from somewhere in the flat. Harry groaned as he sat up, rubbing his sleep-sealed eyes. He wiped his cheek, wet from drool, and frowned at his bedside clock, seeing how early it was. Harry poked his head out of his bedroom, squinting into the sun-soaked room. “Niall?” he asked, spotting a shock of blonde hair in the kitchen.

“Oh, hey Haz,” Niall said, cheerily, bending down to pick up a frying pan off the floor.

“What are you doing here? It’s eight,” Harry grumbled, stepping out of his bedroom.

Niall grinned and put the pan on the stove. “I’m making breakfast. I don’t have any food at my place.”

“So instead of going to the shop, you’ve come to eat our food?” Harry said, sitting down at the table.

Niall tilted his head in thought, before nodding. “Yup.”

Harry rolled his eyes and dropped his head onto the table. They never should have given Niall a key. “What are you making?” Harry asked, looking back up.

“Just eggs. You guys don’t have any food, either,” Niall said, laughing.

Harry smiled fondly and shook his head. “Well, make me some too, yeah? I’ll go out later to get groceries. You’re coming with me, though,” Harry said.

Niall groaned as he cracked a few eggs into the pan. “I hate shopping.”

“Yeah, well I hate when you use us for our food.”

“I’m not using you!” Niall defended, stirring a fork in the pan. “I’m cooking you breakfast. Shut up.”

Harry chuckled and got up to put the kettle on the stove before grabbing two mugs from the cabinet.

Niall dished up the scrambled eggs, while Harry fixed them each a cup of tea, and they ate together at the small table, making quiet conversation. Harry really loved Niall to death, even though he showed up unannounced all the time and ate all of their food. Niall was like this force that always picked Harry up and instantly overjoyed him, turning around any type of bad mood with just his presence.

Niall cleaned up the mess when they were finished while Harry showered and dressed, before he wrote a note for Zayn, telling him where he would be. Much to Niall’s dismay, Harry yanked him out the door so they could walk to the grocery store together.

Harry had to actually help Niall get his groceries, considering everything he chose was either junk food, or just bad for him. Harry picked him out some fruit and bread and milk, trying to convince him that he needed more in his diet than cereal, potatoes, and hot dogs. Niall didn't seem to understand why, but he let Harry help him anyway.

It only took about an hour for them to both get what they needed, before they were parting ways, both with arms full of bags.


	2. Unbeliever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short, sorry. I didn't really know where to break it up with the next part, so yeah. SORRY.

_I've been wandering through_  
_This dead city_  
 _With the devil's voice inside my head_  
 _And the streets they're all, they're after fortune_  
 _And the sky is painted about our grave_  
 _But I keep hanging on_

_*_

Harry switched shifts with Abbey for the time being, much to Duncan’s dismay. She begged Harry, telling him she’d bake him cookies and do his laundry and clean his flat if he would work the night shift for her. Of course, Harry didn’t accept any of those things, telling her not to worry about it.

It was one thirty-two in the morning on a Tuesday, and Harry was drawing squiggly lines on a napkin when he heard the door opening. He looked up, and recognized the man from the other night.

“Hello,” Harry said, probably too cheerily.

The man walked slowly over to the counter, and glanced up at Harry, eyebrow raised. “Hi,” he mumbled, and he shook his head as Harry went to grab him a menu. “Coffee.”

Harry nodded and pulled a mug off the back counter, filling it, and setting it in front of the man. Harry decided that he looked like a John. Or maybe a Geoff. There was a large bruise on his wrist that Harry noticed as he reached for the mug.

“Sure I can’t get you anything else?” Harry asked, head tilting slightly.

Maybe Geoff shook his head again, hands cradling his coffee. “This is fine.”

“All right,” Harry said, walking out from the counter to wipe up a table.

At two o’clock, Harry politely told Maybe Geoff that he had to leave, and Maybe Geoff nodded, and pulled out his wallet.

“Got it, mate,” Harry said, smiling, taking the empty mug off the counter.

Maybe Geoff nodded and slid off the stool. “Thank you,” he said, looking up at Harry, before turning to walk out the door.

***

It went on for almost a week. Maybe Geoff coming in passed midnight, and drinking coffee until Harry had to tell him they were closing. Harry never made him pay, because it was just black coffee and the guy always looked angry or sad or something, and Harry was way too nice for his own good. He was probably going to get fired.

On the sixth day, Harry got sick of calling Maybe Geoff Maybe Geoff. He took a deep breath to calm himself before turning towards him. “My name’s Harry,” he said, pouring more coffee into the emptied mug.

Maybe Geoff smiled a little and nodded. “I know. Your cook yells at you a lot.”

Harry chuckled and set the coffee pot back on the burner. “Yeah. He’s cranky all the time.”

“I’m Louis,” Not Geoff said, sipping from his mug.

“Nice to meet you,” Harry said, smiling warmly. He wanted to rattle off a bunch of questions, but he repressed them, forcing his mouth shut as he turned from Louis to finish up some close-up procedures.

Louis stood from the seat exactly at two, and still, even though Harry never let him pay, pulled out his wallet. Harry shook his head, as always, and took the mug.

“I’m not broke or something,” Louis said quietly. “I can afford coffee.”

Harry just shrugged and started wiping a cloth over the counter.

Louis stared at him for a moment, before shrugging as well. “Well, thanks. Good night,” he said as he turned, slowly.

“Night,” Harry called after him, watching as Louis left the diner. He finished everything up, and ignored Duncan as he complained about getting out too late again, of course, blaming it on Harry. Harry brushed it off and walked back to his flat, also ignoring Zayn, as he flopped onto his bed, falling asleep instantly.

***

“Doesn’t it keep you awake?” Harry asked one night as he refilled Louis’ mug. The two of them had kind of become friends, Harry liked to think, even though their friendship consisted only of them saying a few words to each other while Louis drank at least four cups every night. But Harry had found out that Louis’s favorite color was blue, same as his own; that he loved hot chocolate, even though he never wanted any while he was in the diner; and that he was twenty-four, four years older than Harry.

“Sometimes,” Louis answered. He had a red mark on one of his cheekbones, and Harry kept staring at it. “I don’t even really like coffee, if I’m honest.”

Harry quirked an eyebrow and leaned his arms over the counter, glancing briefly at a table that had a few girls at it, giggling over their slices of pie. “Then why are you drinking it? We have other stuff, you know.”

Louis smiled, looking down into the mug, thumbs running along the side. “My boyfriend really hates it.”

“Oh,” Harry said, glancing from Louis’ eyes to his cheek to his wrists, suddenly realizing a lot of things all at once. “Oh,” he repeated, softer this time.

Louis was still smiling, although is brow was slightly furrowed. Harry noticed his hands started to shake a little, and Harry wanted to reach out and take one, wanting to steady him.

“Think I’m gonna head out early,” Louis said after a moment, pushing his mug forward.

Harry frowned and looked up at the clock, seeing that it was only one-thirty. “Um, okay,” he murmured, watching as Louis slid down and left. He didn’t even bother trying to pay this time.


	3. Second Guess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo yo yo posting quick. So if you find any mistakes, let me know :) Thanks for all the kudos, guys, omg!

_I don't know where to go from here now_   
_Something still lingers though, it's weighing me down_   
_I know the sun will shine again_   
_Back and forth it seems we'll remain until the end_

_*_

 

Harry didn’t see Louis again for eight days. Granted, he had two days off in a row, so maybe he had missed him during that time. Harry was nervous. He was worried that something might have happened and he was literally planning to go out and search for him, when Louis walked through the door.

“Hey!” Harry said, excitedly, grinning. His smile fell though, when Louis looked up at him. The skin around his left eye was purpled and yellowed, and he had a healing cut on his lip.

Louis sat down in his regular stool, wincing a little, before putting his head down on the counter, not even looking at Harry.

Harry let out a shaky breath, before turning to go into the kitchen. He came back out with a mug of hot chocolate, and moved out from behind the counter, placing the mug in front of Louis, and sitting in the stool next to him. “Sometimes, when there’s something wrong, I think it’s easier to talk to someone you don’t really know that well,” he said, putting his elbows up on the counter, looking forward.

Louis picked his head up, glancing at Harry, before looking down at the hot chocolate, instantly wrapping his trembling hands around it.

“I mean, maybe that’s just me,” Harry continued, looking down at his hands, flexing his fingers out of habit.

“Just a fight, is all,” Louis murmured, bringing the mug to his lips.

Harry looked over at Louis, trying his best to ignore the colors of the skin under his eye. “Would you like something to eat?”

“Kitchen’s closed at one-thirty,” Louis said, probably having heard Duncan yell it at Harry multiple times.

“That’s okay,” Harry said, smiling a little. “I can go make you anything you want.”

“It’s fine, Harry,” Louis said, sipping his hot chocolate. “Thank you, though.”

Harry nodded, and looked over his shoulder at the clock. They’d be closing in ten minutes, and he really wished they could stay open just a bit later so he could maybe get Louis to talk to him.

They sat in comfortable silence, Louis nursing his drink as Harry kept stealing glances at him. At two, Louis sighed and put his head back down on the counter. Harry frowned and stood, moving to start cleaning up. He didn’t tell Louis to leave, and Louis didn’t attempt to do so.

Duncan popped out of the kitchen, about to shout something obscene, probably, but he noticed someone at the counter. “Harold,” he stated, and Harry looked up at him, shrugging as Duncan motioned to Louis.

Harry thought he heard Duncan mutter something about him being useless, but he wasn’t really paying attention, as he watched Louis stand slowly and look at the clock for a moment.

“All right?” Harry asked, grabbing his jacket from under the counter.

Louis kept his face turned away from Harry, and nodded. “There’s a bar close by here, yeah?”

“You’re going to a bar now?” Harry asked, not that it was any of his business.

Louis shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Don’t really wanna go home.”

Harry frowned and looked behind him, hearing Duncan clear his throat. He rolled his eyes and walked over to Louis, noticing that he was quite a bit shorter than Harry, it becoming apparent now, that they were actually standing next to each other. He moved towards the door, and Louis followed behind him slowly. Duncan walked outside after them, muttering a goodbye to Harry before turning and leaving.

“Uh, I have like, a really nice couch,” Harry said as he locked the doors. “Like, it’s probably the nicest couch in existence.”

Louis looked up at Harry, eyebrow raised. “So?”

Harry put his hands in his pockets, mirroring Louis. “If you don’t want to go home. You could crash at mine. Better than staying out all night at some gross bar.”

“Maybe I enjoy gross bars,” Louis quipped.

Harry smiled and looked down at his shoes, toeing one over the other. “Well. There’s a really shady pub on the way to my flat. You could try there.”

Louis smirked and followed Harry as he started to walk backwards down the pavement. “Are they open all night?”

“Think so,” Harry said, falling into step next to Louis.

“Perfect,” Louis said.

They were quiet after that, until a few minutes passed and Harry stopped walking when they were outside a brown building with blocked off windows and a few full garbage bins outside of it.

“Here we are,” Harry said, jutting his thumb towards the bar.

Louis looked at the building, scrunching up his nose. “Gross.”

“Yeah,” Harry said, watching as a big bald guy with a badly done skull tattoo on his bicep stepped out of the doors. He glared at them and lit up a cigarette.

“So your couch is the best in existence, huh?” Louis said, looking up at Harry. “Maybe I should try it out. See if you’re exaggerating or not.”

Harry smiled and nodded. “Okay. This place isn’t good enough for you?”

“Not gross enough for me.”

“Got it,” Harry said, following Louis as he started to walk away from the bald guy who was eyeing them.

Louis realized that it was a reckless, potentially dangerous thing to go home with someone that he didn’t know, but maybe Louis was feeling a bit reckless. Harry seemed nice enough, anyway.

It was only a few more minutes until they were at Harry’s flat, and they went up the stairs and Harry unlocked it, letting Louis in and shutting the door behind them.

Louis looked around the living room, taking in the art on the walls and the weird carpet and the ugly hanging plant. It was charming.

“So, if like, you’re trying to steal anything, good luck. We don’t have much. Maybe the TV?” Harry said, pulling off his jacket.

Louis chuckled and shook his head. “I think I’m good. The art is pretty cool, though. Might be able to sell that.”

“My flatmate did those,” Harry said. “Had to beg him to let me hang them up. He’s really good.”

Louis nodded and looked closer at them, legitimately thinking they were great. “Where is he? Your flatmate?”

“Zayn,” Harry said, nodding to a closed door near the television. “He’s asleep. He’s gotta work early tomorrow. So like, don’t be scared when he gets up.”

“Okay,” Louis said, finally taking off his jacket, and Harry gently took it from his hands, putting it in the closet with his own.

Harry pulled down a blanket from the top of the closet, as well as two pillows, bringing them over to the sofa. “If you get cold, there are more blankets in there. You can grab as many as you need. And this is the bathroom,” he said, pointing to another small door, opening it up. “And if you get hungry, just take anything you like,” Harry added, pointing to the kitchen.

Louis nodded, finding it quite endearing how hospitable Harry was. He sat down on the sofa, and decided that Harry was right. It was extremely comfortable.

“Do you want like, a pair of sweatpants or something? Sleeping in jeans sucks,” Harry said, backing up towards his bedroom.

“Sure,” Louis said, standing from the sofa and following Harry, watching as he pulled a pair of red flannel pants out of his dresser.

Harry smiled and handed them to Louis. “So yeah. Um. If you need anything, just like, knock on my door. I’m a pretty light sleeper.”

“Okay,” Louis muttered. “Thank you, Harry.”

“Not a problem,” Harry said. “Sleep well, yeah?”

Louis smiled and nodded. “You too. Good night.”

Harry smiled once more at Louis, before closing his door.

Louis walked into the bathroom, flicking the light on. He looked around for a moment, before tugging his jeans off, and replacing them with the flannels. He washed his face, and stared into the mirror for a long time, poking at the bruise on his eye. He eventually left the bathroom, and sat back down on the sofa, setting up the pillows and blanket before hitting the light switch he saw Harry turn on when they first came in. There was a small nightlight in the bathroom that glowed dully, allowing Louis to see his way back to the sofa. He settled in, snuggling down into the blanket, and closed his eyes, almost immediately drifting off to sleep.

 

Louis was woken up by the sound of something continuously crunching. The sun peeking in through the window hurt his eyes as he cracked them open, looking up to see someone sitting on the windowsill, staring at him and eating cereal way too loudly. “Um, hi,” Louis mumbled, squinting up at the guy.

“Have you gotten lost, mate?” Zayn asked, shoving another spoonful of cereal into his mouth.

“Uh, no,” Louis started, sitting up a little. “Harry said I could stay the night. Just helping me out.”

“Oh, you must be coffee boy,” Zayn said, sliding off the windowsill.

“Yeah. I guess that’s me?” Louis said, scratching at his chin.

Zayn chuckled and brought his bowl into the kitchen, setting it in the sink. “I’m Zayn,” he called over his shoulder. He washed his dishes before grabbing his jacket off the recliner in the living room. “Nice to meet you,” he added with a smile, and then he was out the door, locking it behind him.

Louis scrubbed his hands over his face and lay back down, looking up at the ceiling. He noticed the clock only read seven in the morning, and he groaned quietly, closing his eyes again.

 

This time when Louis woke up, it was to the smell of bacon frying, and he sat up, opening his eyes to adjust to the bright living room. He looked forward, seeing Harry standing at the stove, wearing ratty sweatpants and an equally ratty jumper. He smiled when he heard Harry curse, and shake his hand violently, obviously burning himself.  
Louis got off of the sofa, pulling up the flannels that were too big for him, and leaned against the archway. “Don’t you get sick of cooking?”

Harry jumped a bit, startled, but turned around grinning. “No way. I love cooking,” he said, poking a fork into a skillet. “Do you like pancakes?”

“Yeah,” Louis said, walking up next to Harry. “Can I help?”

Harry smiled widely and nodded. “Sure! Uh, can you grab another pan?” he asked, pointing to a lower cupboard.

Louis turned, and searched out a smaller skillet, holding it up to show Harry. “This okay?”

“Perfect,” Harry said, moving the skillet with the bacon in it over to the sink, draining the grease into a can.

They spent the morning making too many pancakes, with most of the batter ending up on the floor. Harry made a lot of bad jokes, resulting in Louis rolling his eyes, but laughing every single time. It wasn’t strange or uncomfortable, either, even when Louis stayed until the late afternoon.

“I should probably get going,” Louis said as he wiped tears from his eyes after laughing so hard at Harry falling off the sofa.

“Yeah. I’ve gotta go to work soon,” Harry said, sitting cross-legged on the floor.

Louis nodded and stood up, a little reluctantly, and walked to the closet to get his jacket. Harry got up as well, and followed Louis as he moved towards the door. Louis slipped his jacket on and looked up at Harry. “Thank you. So much,” he said quietly.

Harry smiled and looked down at his feet. “Anytime you need a place to crash, you can come here, all right?”

“Okay,” Louis said. “Thank you. I’ll see you around, yeah?”

“I hope so,” Harry said, opening the door for Louis.

Louis grinned and stepped out, waving at Harry before disappearing down the stairs.


	4. Gently

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions/implications of self-harm, mentions of domestic abuse. 
> 
> I realize both chapter breaks start with Niall speaking. This whole thing is sloppy. So I apologize. Really. Thank you so much for the comments and kudos, you guys. Really, really means a lot. As always, let me know if you spot an error! Thank you <3

_No I wouldn't mind going gently into the night_   
_As long as it don't hurt_   
_I won't put up a fight to go beyond the time_   
_When our hands and voice are sold to a world overgrown_   
_It's moving so fast we should slow down_

_*_

 

“Oh screw off, Duncan,” Niall shouted one night at the diner. “I’m a valuable customer. You have to please me!”

“It’s not on the damned menu, kid. I’m not doing that,” Duncan yelled right back at him, waving a spatula around.

“It’s not even that hard! I’ll just do it myself!”

Harry chuckled at the exchange, and poured Louis another cup of coffee. “Always fun when Niall’s here,” he muttered sarcastically.

Louis laughed and glanced down the counter at them. He had taken an instant liking to Niall, when the blonde came running through the door, throwing both open, and demanding a BLT made with French toast instead of regular toast. He introduced himself as ‘Harry’s best friend in the entire universe,’ and addressed Louis as coffee boy. Just like Zayn did.

“Do they usually do this?” Louis asked, running the tip of his finger around the edge of his mug.

Harry nodded, sighing dramatically. “Whenever he comes in, he wants something weird. And Duncan is too lazy to just shut up and make it for him.”

“Why don’t you just make it for him?”

“Because Duncan doesn’t like me touching his ‘supplies,’” Harry said with a chuckle.

“Got it,” Louis said, sipping his coffee.

After Niall eventually got his French toast BLT, nearly inhaling it, he said a quick goodnight to everyone, thanking Duncan by tipping him with a Monopoly thousand-dollar bill. Duncan practically chased Niall out of the building, shouting something about banning him from the diner.

Louis went home with Harry again that night, and he slept soundly on the couch, and Harry made breakfast, and Louis stayed until three in the afternoon the next day. It continued for a few weeks, Louis going to Harry’s flat once or twice a week, just because he didn’t want to go home. And Harry would always happily set up the couch for Louis, and he would happily tell him to take anything he needed, and he would happily cook for him in the morning. Louis really liked Harry. He liked how charming and sweet and hospitable he was. He was easy to get along with and he made Louis feel better about a lot of things without even trying to.

***

 

“Oh my God, he’s here!” Niall squealed when someone knocked on the door. He tried to jump over Zayn, desperate to let the pizza guy in.

Zayn laughed and grabbed Niall’s face, holding him down as Harry got up, sticking his tongue out at Niall, before going to the door. He opened it quickly, stomach growling, but his grin quickly fell when his eyes landed upon Louis standing on his doorstep. His hair was wet, and his nose and lip were bleeding, and he looked up at Harry with two swollen eyes.

“So I know this is weird, but,” Louis stared, voice hoarse. “Could I come in for a bit? It’s raining and I just kinda need to sit down or something.”

Harry immediately took one of Louis’ shaking hands, and pulled him through the door, leading him through the living room and into the bathroom, shutting the door behind them.

“That’s not pizza!” Harry heard Niall wail from the living room as he sat Louis down on the side of the bathtub.

Louis looked up at him, confused. “What are you doing?”

“You’re bleeding. A lot,” Harry said, grabbing a washcloth to run under warm water. He hesitated before gently dabbing the cloth against Louis’ lip, wiping the blood off, before moving it under Louis’ nose.

Louis watched Harry with careful eyes, wincing a little when he touched his nose, hands gripping the edge of the bathtub. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled eventually, as Harry rung out the washcloth over the sink, wetting it again.

Harry frowned and squatted down in front of Louis. “What are you sorry for?” he asked, wiping across Louis’ forehead.

“Dunno. Showing up unexpectedly. Interrupting your evening. Bleeding all over you.”

Harry smiled and shook his head. “It’s okay. I’m glad you did. Well, I mean. I’m not glad why you’re here. Just that you came here, I guess? I don’t know.”

Louis chuckled, closing his eyes as Harry kept wiping off his face. He shrugged his damp jacket off, letting it fall into the bathtub, and Harry’s eyes fell to his arms, noticing a few stray bruises littered over his skin. Louis didn’t bother trying to hide from Harry, and their eyes met for a moment before Louis looked down at his hands.  
Harry noticed a few raised scars on Louis’ wrists, and he boldly reached down to touch one. “Did he do these, too?” he asked quietly.

Louis shook his head, letting out a humorless laugh. “Those are from me,” he said, keeping his eyes down. “But I don’t do it anymore, so don’t worry,” he added with a smile.

Harry wasn’t reassured, but he nodded anyway. “Let's get you into some dry clothes, yeah?” he said, standing and placing the washcloth in the sink.

Louis followed Harry out of the bathroom and into his bedroom, shutting the door, both of them ignoring Niall’s cheerful mention of the pizza’s arrival. He thanked Harry as he handed him a t-shirt and the red flannels he had been wearing on nights he stayed over. Louis quickly tugged his jeans off, followed by his shirt, modesty nonexistent, and pulled on the dry clothes. “Thank you,” Louis said again, stuffing his hands into the pants pockets.

“Sure,” Harry said, rocking back on his heels. “Are you okay?” he asked quietly.

Louis closed his eyes and nodded slowly, offering Harry a small smile.

“Are you hungry?” Harry asked, opening his door.

“Yeah, actually,” Louis said, stepping out after Harry. He waggled his fingers at Niall and Zayn who both looked up at them.

Niall waved back and patted the spot on the sofa next to him. “We’re watching a documentary on the ocean,” Niall told Louis as he sat down in the middle of the sofa.

“It’s boring,” Zayn added.

“No it isn’t. You just don’t understand it,” Niall said, frowning.

“There aren’t even any sharks or squids or anything cool.”

“You’re boring,” Niall mumbled, sulking as he crossed his arms.

Harry sat next to Louis, and reached forward to grab a slice of pizza out of the box on the coffee table, offering it to Louis. “Do you like pizza?” he asked over Niall and Zayn’s banter.

“Silly question,” Louis quipped, taking the slice from Harry and smiling.

Harry rolled his eyes and got his own slice, leaning back on the couch and turned to watch the screen.

The four of them watched the film, Niall randomly saying facts about the ocean throughout, and Zayn rolling his eyes at him. Louis fit in well with them, making jokes and laughing and it seemed like he was enjoying himself, and it made Harry happy.

Eventually, Zayn stood up and stretched, before saying goodnight to everyone, and retreated to his bedroom, and Niall scurried off to the bathroom.

Harry cleared the empty pizza boxes off of the coffee table, bringing them into the kitchen. “So, Niall was gonna use the couch,” he said, coming back into the living room. “But like, he could just sleep with me or Zayn, so you could have it.”

“Or I could just sleep with you?” he suggested. “Your bed’s big enough. We could probably all fit on it, actually,” he chuckled.

Harry laughed quietly, and started walking backwards to his room. “Yeah, I mean. If you’re okay with it?”

Louis nodded, following Harry. “Fine with me,” he muttered, sitting down on Harry’s bed.

Niall popped his head in, smiling brightly. “Night lads!”

They both said goodnight to Niall, and he shut the door for them. Harry replaced his jeans with sweatpants, and moved to a side of his bed, pulling back the duvet. Louis did the same, crawling up the bed and maneuvering himself under the sheets.

Once settled in, Louis had his back facing Harry, and he curled around himself, sighing quietly against the pillow. “Thank you,” he mumbled.

“You’re welcome,” Harry said softly, staring at Louis’ back. It wasn’t weird to have Louis in his bed. And it wasn’t weird when Harry thought that maybe he wanted to cuddle him.

And it wasn’t weird when he woke up the next morning with Louis curled up and pressed into his back. Harry turned slightly, lifting his arm so he could peek down at Louis, and he smiled fondly. He stayed like that, with his arm thrown over Louis’ pillow, and he watched Louis for a while, before he dozed off again. He was abruptly woken, though, when Louis groaned and his arm flew up and smacked Harry in the face.

“Oh shit,” Louis mumbled, looking up at Harry with one eye open, pulling his arm back down. “Sorry.”

Harry couldn’t help but laugh, and he rolled onto his back fully, still looking at Louis. “Did you sleep well?”

Louis nodded, propping his head up on his arm. “Did you?”

“Mhmm. I generally sleep pretty well. It’s a gift,” Harry said, smiling.

“Lucky,” Louis said, looking down at his hands, before glancing back up, staring at Harry.

They were silent for a while; just kind of looking at each other, before Harry finally broke the gaze and looked up at the ceiling. “Will you tell me what happened?” he asked quietly.

Louis sighed and rolled onto his back as well, closing his eyes. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean,” Harry said.

"Trevor," Louis murmured after a while. "We've got a big house. With a lovely garden, and a huge library, and an adorable tiny maid."

Harry listened intently, eyes focused on Louis.

“I met him in high school,” Louis sighed. “I was seventeen and he was twenty-three and I wanted to date him just because I knew it would piss off my mum. And it did at first. But he always came around, and had a really good job, and my family is all about money and stability, so they eventually liked him a lot. I was so stupidly in love with him for two years. He was so nice and wonderful and he bought me anything I wanted. He treated me like I was fucking royalty.

“But then stuff changed really quickly when I moved in with him. He would get angry at stupid things, and yell at me and blame everything on me. He’d spill a glass of water and it would be my fault. He started venting his anger by fucking me really hard," Louis paused, glancing at Harry, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. When Harry didn't react, Louis continued. "He would hurt me every night, and then tell me I deserved it, that I was ruining his life, that I was useless. But then in the morning he would be as sweet as anything, make me breakfast and tell me how lovely I was. I was so confused and sad and one time, I asked him why he was acting like this suddenly, and that’s when he started hitting me. But he would say it was because he loved me. I started hurting myself because I was angry and upset all the time. And it went on for two more years.

“Eventually, I realized that it wasn’t going to just stop. So I started fighting back. He hit me one night, and I punched him so hard in his jaw that he fell over. And that’s how it is now. We’ll fight, and it’ll get violent sometimes, and then we’ll fuck. Or the other way around,” Louis finished, sighing. “I can’t believe I just told you all that.”

Harry kept quiet, watching Louis’ hands move as he spoke. “Why don’t you just leave?” He asked.

Louis let out a quiet, humorless chuckle. “He’s got money. My mum wants me with him. I told her once that I wanted to leave him, and she got so angry with me. Told me how stupid that was and how much of a mistake it would be.”

“But he hurts you,” Harry said softly, looking at Louis’ face, staring at his bruised skin.

“It’s fine, Harry. I’m fine,” Louis said, avoiding Harry’s gaze as he sat up, gripping the blanket in his hands. After a few moments of silence, he looked up at Harry again. “I should probably get going.”

Harry frowned and sat up a little. “You can’t. Niall’s here. And when Niall’s here overnight, he makes breakfast. And when Niall makes breakfast, he gets really sad when you don’t eat it,” Harry said.

Louis smiled and chuckled quietly. “I guess I could stay a bit longer, then. For Niall, that is.”

Harry nodded once, staring at Louis intensely. “Right. For Niall.”


	5. Open Door

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, my darlings. It's been over a year since I've posted anything. And I'm so, so sorry about that. This is just a tiny bit of random snippets. I have over 14,000 words waiting to be posted to this, it just needs to be put together and framed out. I hope there's still some interest. Sorry, again. I love this story so much, and it's just been such shit posting. UGH. But again, if anyone is still with me, thank you <3 I hope to finish some more and post a legitimate bit of writing for you guys.

_But I know, that home is just some place I always leave behind_  
_It's with me everywhere I go and I close my eyes  
_ _And I know someday I'll catch you in the by and by, I know_

_*_

 

“I don’t see what the problem is,” Liam said, pouring a cup of tea, shaking his hand out as the steam burned him slightly. “He seems really nice.”

Louis gratefully accepted the cup, wrapping his hands around it. “No. That is the problem,” he said, frowning. “He’s sweet and he’s funny and he’s bloody attractive.”

“Oh. So you want to fuck him?” Liam said, eyebrows rising.

“No, fuck off,” Louis grumbled, sipping his tea. “I mean. I would if the opportunity presented itself, but that’s not it.”

“Okay. Then what’s wrong?” Liam asked, sitting down in the stool next to Louis.

Louis sighed, and pressed his chin into his hand. “I don’t really know, I guess.”

Liam rolled his eyes. “You’re being difficult. You know exactly what the problem is. Do you want a hint?” he asked, a bit too snarkily for Louis’ liking.

“Oh, I’m sorry I don’t have a fairytale relationship with a fucking goddess,” Louis said, narrowing his eyes. “Ooo, I’m Sofia! And I’m bloody perfect!”

Liam’s own eyes narrowed and he flipped Louis off. “Fuck you. She is perfect,” he said, frowning.

Louis sighed again, and dropped his head to the table. “I know. I’m sorry. I love her, you know that.”

“Lou, there is literally zero benefit of staying with him,” Liam murmured, his eyes softening now, and he put his hand on Louis’ shoulder, squeezing a little. “Maybe this is some sort of sign. For you to move on from him.”

“It’s not that easy,” Louis mumbled, gripping his cup too hard.

“I know,” Liam said softly, dropping his hand. He stayed silent for a while, until he pulled on a little grin. “Well. When do I get to meet him, anyway? Wanna see if he’s really as lovely as you say.”

Louis smiled at that, and he nodded, sitting up straight. “Soon. I promise.”

 

***

 

It all continued, still. Louis sleeping on the couch turned into Louis sleeping in Harry's bed. Neither of them minded. Harry liked waking up to Louis pressed against his back or his side, though he wouldn't admit it. And then they would have breakfast and hang out for a while. Louis started leaving earlier, though, not staying through the afternoons. But that was okay. Harry had been neglecting his long list of books to read (since he'd been spending a lot of time with Louis) and he needed to catch up.

On nights when Louis didn't go home with him, Harry kind of felt a little sad. He liked Louis coming back to his flat. He enjoyed Louis. He liked his company and his humor and his laugh and his smile. But he wondered what Louis' boyfriend thought on nights that he didn't come home.

 

***

 

“So I was thinking,” Harry started, swirling a spoon around an emptied pie plate. “We should like. Hang out.” The diner was empty once again, it having slowed down from the random rush they had around ten that night, and Louis had come in earlier than usual, it only being midnight.

Louis raised an eyebrow, taking his last bite of chocolate cake. “Aren’t we hanging out right now?”

“No. I’m working,” Harry said. “And you’re enjoying a lovely evening on the town.”

“Evening on the town?” Louis scoffed playfully, raising his eyebrows. “I’m stuck in a diner with some weirdo.”

“You choose to come in here,” Harry pointed out.

Louis just smiled and rolled his pretty blue eyes that Harry could never stop staring at. “I guess. What would we do?” He asked, looking up at Harry. “If we hung out.”

"Anything, really. Like, coming over and sleeping at my place doesn’t much count, does it? We could like, go to the cinema," Harry said, shrugging. "Or we could go bowling. Niall loves bowling. He's really bad at it. But he loves it so much."

Louis smiled, licking a bit of chocolate off his pinky. "So it would be a group activity?"

"Would that be okay?" Harry asked, tilting his head. "I mean, Niall would probably kill me if I went bowling without him.”

“I’d prefer you alive, I think.”

Harry smiled, looking down at the counter. “So does that mean you’d like to go?”

Louis pressed his lips together, before his tongue poked out once again to swipe across his bottom one. “Maybe,” he said, smiling over at the other.

Louis did go. He, Harry, Zayn, and Niall went to the small bowling alley in town, and Louis honestly didn’t remember the last time he had so much fun. And if Louis hadn’t known before, he discovered that Niall was a pure riot, fun and exciting and happy, and Louis loved it. He also kind of loved the way Harry kept putting his hand on his lower back, or his side, or his arm. He did notice though, the way Harry would try and get closer to him, and he really couldn’t bring himself to mind.

Harry and Louis shared an unspoken sadness when the night ended. Louis denied when Harry practically begged him adorably to come back with him and the boys to their flat, since he really had to get home. He hadn’t seen Trevor all weekend, and he knew his boyfriend would be angry about it. So they all hugged goodbye, and Louis liked the way Harry seemed to cling to him.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” Louis said, smiling at Harry as he started to walk backwards.

Harry nodded, way too eagerly. “Yeah. I’ll have some fresh coffee on,” he said, grinning.

“My hero,” Louis teased, before he waved a bit, and finally turned around, heading off down the pavement.

***

"What did you want to be when you grew up? Harry asked one night, leaning over the counter on his elbows while Louis swirled his thumb over the edge of his mug.

Louis shrugged, and looked up at Harry. "Think I wanted to act," he said, smiling softly. "Wanted to be in plays and stuff. I was the lead in all my school musicals," he explained with a little grin.

Harry smiled, listening intently. "Is that still what you want to do?"

Louis' smile faltered a little, and he shook his head, though his shoulders lifted up again.

"What do you want to be, now?" Harry asked, tilting his head.

"I'm not sure," Louis answered, glancing back down into his mug. "Don't really want to be anything." He was silent then, and so was Harry. Louis hated it when Harry was quiet, so he looked up again and smiled. "What did you wanna be?"

A small smile formed on Harry's lips. "I wanted to work at an animal hospital. I wanted to help people's pets," he said, picking up a paper napkin, starting to shred it between his fingers. "But then my turtle died, and I tried giving him CPR with one of those tiny straws, but it didn't work. And I cried a lot," he said, though he pouted when he saw Louis covering his mouth to hold back laughter. "Heeeey. I cried for three days. It's not funny," he whined, which only made Louis laugh harder.

"You gave CPR to a turtle," Louis reiterated, his lips stretched into a wide grin. "Harry, you are way too cute."

Harry's face pinked slightly, and he pouted a little harder. "I thought I could save him. My mum said I was probably not cut out for that career path," he added, unable to stop himself from smiling now.

Louis just laughed again, softer this time. "Too. Cute," he said, reaching to gently pinch Harry's cheek.

Harry swatted his hand away, and rolled his eyes fondly, before he glanced up as a few teenagers came into the diner, and he walked over to give them menus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come say hi on tumblr! austinattack.tumblr.com


	6. Break The Cycle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> READ THIS!!  
> Hello! This one is longer than the last chapter! Yay! There is smut in this one!! YAY!!! I mean, did I just give it away? Ya knew it was gonna happen.  
> There is also a brief bit of domestic violence in this chapter. When you start to read about Harry going to meet Trevor, it's there, if you want to skip over it, but then smut happens after, so idk. Take care of yourselves!  
> There is consensual choking in here as well. Again, during the bit with the detailed smut after Harry meets Trevor. Harry also meets Liam and Sophia. And each *** is like, a time break, obviously.
> 
> Also, have any of you listened to the album that the chapters are named after? Rose Ave by You+Me (Dallas Green and Pink)...because you should. I tried to make them match up a little bit. This chapter, and from here on out they match way more than the beginning chapters. Listen to the album anyway because it's a masterpiece.  
> Anyway. I hope you guys are happy?? <3

_Tell me the words you long to hear_  
_And I'll sing them loud and clear_  
_Let me heal the wounds you've held on to for all these years_  
_Break the cycle, break the chains_  
_'Cause love is louder than all your pain  
_ _Than all your pain_

_*_

 

“He’s going to hate me,” Harry said, biting his lip hard as he and Louis made their way up a set of stairs.

Louis rolled his eyes, and shook his head. “Why the hell would he hate you? I’ll kill him if he does,” he said, smiling as he gently poked Harry’s cheek. “You’re the most likable person I’ve ever met, Haz. It’ll be fine.”

Harry just groaned again, clutching the bouquet of flowers too tightly in his hands. They were going to Liam’s flat, so Harry could finally meet him and his fiance, Sophia. And of course Harry was more nervous than he’d been in a while.

Louis knocked on the door, smiling over at Harry, and when the door opened, Liam, (Harry assumed) stood there grinning. “Hi!” he said, too excitedly. “Harry! It’s so good to finally meet you!”

“You, too,” Harry said, smiling brightly and he felt relief flooding him as he shook Liam’s hand. “Thank you for having me over.”

“Enough small talk shit,” Louis chimed in, pushing passed Liam. “Is dinner almost done? I’m starving.”

“Hello to you too, Louis,” a woman said, smiling fondly as she appeared in the doorway from the kitchen.

“Hi, Sof,” Louis said with a grin, and he kissed her cheek.

Liam watch the two of them, smiling as well before he closed the door. “Come on in, mate,” he said to Harry, leading him in.

Harry thanked him softly, and then looked over at Sophia. “Hi, um. Louis said you liked lilies,” he said, offering her the bouquet.

Sophia’s eyes lit up, her smile wide. “Oh, Harry. You didn’t have to do that,” she said, as she accepted them.

“I know, but I wanted to,” Harry said, smiling still.

The evening was simply wonderful. Harry helped Sophia finish dinner, while Liam teased Louis over how fondly he kept looking at Harry. They ate and had wine, and shared stories and laughs, and Louis may have been a little tipsy by the end of the night. He ended up in Harry’s lap at one point, while Sophia told them how Liam proposed to her over the summer.

“Isn’t he sooo cute?” Louis asked, pinching Harry’s cheeks. “Just look at him!”

Harry’s eyebrows furrowed, and he pressed his fingers against Louis’ hip. “Hey, shut up,” he grumbled, while Sophia and Liam laughed.

“You are, though! You’re like a cute little baby,” Louis continued, eyes glassy. “Cute little Harold.”

“You’re smaller than me,” Harry defended. “You’re the little one. Not me.”

“But I’m older.”

“But you’re still smaller.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“I am not!”

“I could literally throw you over my shoulder.”

“Liar. Prove it.”

So Harry did. He picked Louis up with ease, and tossed him over his shoulder while the older man yelped, and Liam laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world.

Eventually, after Harry thanked Liam and Sophia endlessly, he and Louis left, their arms linked together. Louis went home with Harry, and they cuddled on the couch until Louis fell asleep curled up against Harry’s chest.

The night came and went, and in the morning, they woke still wrapped up together on the couch. Louis attempted to give Harry a back massage, since he was sore, but it ended up with Louis tickling Harry unmercifully.

When Louis left that day, Harry walked him to the door, and Louis turned around, biting back his smile. “I’ll see you later?” he said softly.

Harry nodded, probably too eagerly, and Louis laughed quietly, before he wrapped his arms around Harry’s neck, hugging him tightly. Harry’s arms wound around Louis’ middle, and he kept the other man close.

Louis pulled back after a few long moments, smiling still, and he kissed Harry’s cheek. “Bye,” he murmured, stepping away.

“Bye,” Harry echoed, waving his hand a little while Louis turned again, and went down the stairs, but he brought his hand up to his face, the feeling of Louis’ lips lingering on his skin.

***

"I'm drunk," Louis announced, almost to the entire pub, causing a few people to look over, and Harry clapped a hand around his mouth gently, causing the other to whine, while Niall laughed beside them, and Zayn rolled his eyes.

They'd only been there for an hour, and Harry discovered that Louis was a major lightweight, as Niall put it. Louis had two martinis and one shot with Zayn, and he was drunk already, while Niall and Zayn were on their second mug of beer, and Harry nursed his first bottle still.

Louis was a touchy drunk, Harry also found out. He kept putting his hands all over Harry; his back and his neck and his face, and maybe Harry kind of liked it.

When Niall got up to get another round, and Zayn was chatting with a girl that he knew, Louis leaned close to Harry, his lips practically against his ear. "Take me home," he breathed, his eyes dark, voice low, and Harry felt his skin prickle.

He turned to Louis, staring down at him, and he bit his lip. "Like, to my flat?" he asked softly.

Louis nodded, and looped his arms around Harry's neck, pressing up closer to him. "Mhmm. Pretty please."

"O-okay," Harry murmured, his hand slipping around Louis' waist gently as he swallowed hard. He moved out of the booth, and Louis followed a little clumsily, almost falling into Zayn's lap.

"Hazza's taking me home," he slurred, smiling at the other, and he tried to wink as Harry helped him back up.

Zayn raised an eyebrow, staring up at Harry. "Um?"

Harry just shrugged, and told Zayn to tell Niall he'd see him later, and then he was helping Louis out of the pub.

The walk home was quiet. Louis stumbled and giggled the whole time, but he didn't speak much, until they got to Harry's flat. When the door closed, Louis grabbed Harry's hand, and led him into his bedroom. He kicked the door shut with his foot, and then he wrapped his arms around Harry's neck, pressing their bodies together. "Hug me," he demanded, and Harry obeyed, wrapping his arms around Louis' middle. It was nice, holding Louis so close, and Harry smiled when Louis let out a content noise.  
But then they were moving again, and Louis let go of Harry, only to fall backwards on the bed. "Cuddle me," he demanded again, making grabby hands for Harry.

Harry chuckled, but he didn't deny Louis, and he crawled onto the bed, lying on his side, smiling when Louis instantly snuggled up against him, wrapping his arms around Harry's neck again, Harry's going to his waist again.

"I like you," Louis mumbled, nosing against Harry's cheek, while he wiggled a little closer.

"I like you, too," Harry said with a smile, though it faltered when Louis shifted and pressed their foreheads together.

Louis stared at Harry, locking their eyes. "Kiss me," he breathed, his voice barely audible.

Harry's eyes widened slightly, and he felt his heart pounding in his chest. "I, Lou. I-I can't," he whispered, and Louis just shook his head.

"Kiss me, Hazza," he said again. "Please."

"Louis, I ca--" Harry tried, but then Louis took the initiative, and pressed their lips together.

Harry couldn't even bring himself to push Louis away. His lips were so soft and nice and God, it'd been so long since Harry had kissed someone. It was okay. Friends kissed sometimes, didn't they? But Louis was drunk, and that was not okay. "L-Lou," Harry breathed, gently pushing at his chest.

"Please," Louis answered simply, wrapping his arms tighter around Harry's neck, and then they were kissing again.

Harry's eyes fluttered closed, and his hands formed over Louis' hips while he kissed him back softly.

It changed quickly, though. They hadn't even been kissing for two minutes, before Louis was rolling his body on top of Harry's, his legs on either side of his hips. "Fuck me," he panted, biting down on Harry's bottom lip.

Harry stifled a quiet groan, and he squeezed his eyes shut, before he carefully pushed Louis off of him.

Louis whined and tried to get back on top of Harry. "Harry, please," he begged, his voice small. "I want you. I like you so much," he whispered, pressing up to his side, his cock hard in his jeans.

"No, Lou," Harry said, biting his lip as he put his hand on Louis' chest. "Let's go to sleep, okay? Let's just. Yeah. Sleep."

Louis whimpered and shook his head, though he rolled over away from Harry, crossing his arms over his chest. "You don't want me," he grumbled.

"That's...not true," Harry said softly, frowning. Of course he'd thought about it. Louis was beautiful and fun and just kind of perfect.

Louis rolled back over, looking up at Harry, his eyes glossy. "Then why aren't we doing something about it?" he asked.

"Because you're drunk," Harry said truthfully. That was the main factor at least. Louis also had a boyfriend.

Louis' eyebrows furrowed, as if he were thinking hard about it, and then he nodded slowly. "Okay," he whispered, looking up at Harry. "I still want you though. When I'm not drunk, too. I think about you when he's fucking me."

Harry swallowed thickly, and closed his eyes, biting down hard on his bottom lip. "Let's go to bed, okay?" he said again, and Louis just nodded, though he scooted closer again, pressing right up against Harry's chest, tucking his head under his chin.

Nothing else was said after that, and Harry just pulled up the blanket, not daring to break the silence in the room.

When Harry woke in the morning, there was a note stuck to his forehead with a piece of tape, and the other side of the bed was empty. He plucked the paper off of his head, and sat up, looking down at it.

 

_H,_  
_sorry for being weird. Sucks to remember everything you did when you were drunk. Cursed with it. Thanks for not taking advantage. I'll see you tomorrow xx_  
_ps. you're out of tea. fix that._  
_pss. i meant everything i said.  
_-Louis W. Tomlinson the First and Only__

Harry couldn't help but smile down at the note, and he read it a few times, before carefully folding it up and putting it in his night stand.

***

Nothing was weird. Neither of them mentioned it. Louis had been drunk, and Harry had just. Been there. That was it. Though, the next time Louis kissed Harry, he certainly wasn’t drunk, and Harry didn’t hesitate that time.

Louis had been sporting bruises like bracelets when Harry opened the door to let him in late at night, and all Louis did was push Harry up against the door to kiss him.They kissed until their lips were swollen, their breath uneven, and Harry only stopped when he heard a desperate little noise leave Louis’ throat that made his own dick twitch.  
“He doesn’t have to know,” Louis had panted against Harry’s mouth after Harry had casually reminded Louis that he had a boyfriend.

But Harry knew he had to be stronger than that, so he just pulled Louis to the couch and forced him to watch Star Wars instead.

A week passed, and each day Harry lost more and more of his control. By the next week, he had completely crumbled. Louis just never left him alone.

 

The first time they fucked, it was everything Louis could have asked for. Louis was on his back, while Harry hovered above him. Harry was rough, his hips quick, but his voice and his words were gentle, though none the less filthy. Louis came while Harry's hand worked over his length quickly, his lips at his ear, moaning how beautiful Louis was, and Harry came right after, both of them shaking from the high of it.

The second time was even better. Harry took Louis from behind, pulling his hair and biting his shoulders, and Harry didn't even get angry when Louis came all over the fresh sheets he'd just put on his bed.

The third time, Harry ate Louis out until he came all over himself twice, his eyes pricked with tears from how good it all felt. And Harry had come just from having his mouth on Louis' bum. God, Louis was impressed. Louis ended up riding Harry then, bringing them both through another orgasm.

And the fourth time, Louis had mentioned that Trevor never took it from Louis, so Harry let Louis fuck him for four amazing hours, until neither of them thought they could come anymore.

Harry stopped counting after that. They seemed to not be able to keep their hands off each other while they were alone. Even innocent movie nights were turned sexual when Louis would bite Harry's neck, or Harry would tease Louis' nipples over his shirt. It just never was enough.

Harry knew it was wrong. Louis had a boyfriend, who he would always go home to. And whenever he wanted to mention it, Louis would show up with bruises on his hips that weren't from him, or a black eye, or a reddened cheek, and Louis would look at Harry with that look, and Harry would lose it, succumbing to whatever Louis wanted him to do for him.

Zayn found out a few weeks later, when he walked into their flat after work, and he was met with Louis bent over their coffee table, Harry behind him, pounding into him.  
"Fucking gross," Zayn said, his face twisted in disgust, while he walked passed to go into his room.

Louis couldn't even bring himself to be upset that someone knew, now. He just pressed his face to the cool wood of the table, and moaned, pushing back on Harry's cock, since he'd stopped. "Come on," he urged, swirling his hips.

Harry groaned softly, his face tinted pink from slight embarrassment, but he obeyed Louis, and picked up the pace again, snapping his hips forward.

***

Harry decided that meeting Trevor was the worst idea in the world. He’d been having sex with Louis for over a month. Which, he really shouldn’t have been. He was waiting on the doorstep to their huge house after he knocked on the door, and he could just picture it.

Hi, I’m Harry, and I’m fucking your boyfriend. Lovely home, you have.

Louis answered, thankfully, and he smiled warmly at Harry. “Hi,” he murmured.

Harry could tell that Louis was tired, and he could see remnants of a bruise on his jaw. He hadn’t seen Louis in three days, and he hated that in that time he’d been hurt. He reached up, and just barely brushed his fingers against Louis’ cheek, the other man’s eyes fluttering for a moment, before he stepped back.

“Come on in,” Louis said, taking Harry’s hand gently, pulling him inside. Louis dropped Harry’s hand though as they got to the kitchen, and Harry saw a man standing there, assuming it was Trevor.

The man’s smile was tight, but he walked forward anyway. “Hello. You must be Harry,” he said, voice formal. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

Harry wasn’t sure how to take that, so he just smiled, and offered his hand. “It’s nice to meet you,” he said, while Trevor shook his hand.

Trevor smiled and nodded, before he let go of Harry’s hand and walked over to the counter. “Drink? Anything you want,” he said.

“Uh, whatever you’re having is fine,” Harry said, glancing down at Louis, who smiled and moved over to Trevor, since the older man’s eyes were glued to him.  
“I’ll get it,” he whispered. “You two sit,” he said, kissing Trevor’s cheek.

Trevor nodded, and he moved away from Louis, his hand sliding across his lower back as he went to sit at the table, holding a chair out for Harry, which he accepted. “So, Harry,” he said, taking the glass of wine that Louis put into his hand. “Louis tells me you work at a diner?”

Harry nodded, a little sheepishly and he looked up at Louis, thanking him quietly for his glass. “Yeah. I do. I really like it there,” he said, smiling. “What do you do, exactly?” he asked, trying to keep his voice light.

“I run a corporation,” Trevor said, watching Harry closely, not liking the way the boy looked at Louis.

“Oh, that’s nice,” Harry said, smiling again, before he looked down into his glass.

Trevor was about to speak again, when his beeper went off. He checked it, and sighed softly, before standing up. “You’ll have to excuse me. I’ve to get back to the office for a little while,” he said. “Good to finally meet you though, Harry. Louis, a word?” he said, before excusing himself from the kitchen.

Louis got up obediently, and followed Trevor into the hallway, only to be slammed up against the wall. He didn’t make a sound as Trevor gripped his jaw tightly, kissing along his neck.

“You’re mine,” the man gritted. “You understand that, don’t you?”

Louis nodded quickly, trying to turn his head, puckering his lips to show that he wanted to kiss him.

And Trevor did, rough and wet and forceful, licking into Louis’ mouth, the hand not on Louis’ jaw digging into his hip.

Harry glanced over, able to see them, and he felt sick to his stomach, forcing his eyes away as he remained sitting, his hands balled up into fists. He had heard Trevor too, his voice echoing in Harry’s skull. He hated him. He fucking hated him.

Trevor pulled back from Louis, and smiled, though it was cold, and he swatted Louis’ bum before he turned. “Bye, babe,” he whispered, and then he was leaving. Harry didn’t get up until he could see the lights from Trevor’s car moving, and then he stood, walking over to Louis who was still against the wall in the foyer.

Louis looked up at Harry when he was close, his eyes glassy and his hands shaking, before he was reaching for the younger man, pulling him close by his shirt. “I want to forget about him for a little bit,” he whispered, eyes fluttering as he brushed his lips against Harry’s. “Can you do that for me?”

Harry just nodded, his hands sliding over Louis’ waist gently, and his eyes closed when Louis kissed him. It was much sweeter than the way Louis had just been kissed by Trevor, and he sighed softly into it, his arms wrapping around Harry’s neck, arching his body forward. It turned heated quickly, just as Louis wanted, and he licked into Harry’s mouth, curling their tongues together.

“Want you to fuck me on the stairs,” Louis panted, and Harry answered with a moan. Louis made quick work of Harry’s belt and the flies on his jeans, but he moved on to tugging Harry’s shirt off instead. Harry pulled off Louis’ shirt as well, tossing it to the floor as he kissed him again, hands cupping his face.

Louis sunk to his knees then, grinning up at Harry before he kissed along his waistband. He reached into Harry’s underwear so he could get his dick out, and he moaned softly at the sight. “Mm, have I told you how much I love your cock?” he asked, thumbing teasingly over Harry’s wet slit.

“Y-you may have mentioned it,” Harry murmured, biting his lip.

“‘s so big and thick and perfect,” Louis gushed, his eyes locked on Harry’s face.

Harry moaned softly, and shook his head. “Just average.”

“There’s nothing average about you, Harry Styles,” Louis whispered, and before Harry could roll his eyes, Louis had his lips around his cock, and he groaned low in his throat. Louis didn’t take much time to start bobbing his head, going down as far as he could, and then pulling back. He lapped wetly at Harry’s tip, looking up at the other man. “Like that, Hazza?” he whispered, before suckling at Harry’s tip again, working his tongue just under his slit. He took Harry all the way down again, gagging himself, though he didn’t stop, continuing bobbing his head, feeding off of Harry’s noises.

Harry gave a sharp tug to Louis’ hair, mostly accidental, but then Louis was standing up, and kissing Harry hard, moaning against his mouth. “I gotta go get a condom,” he breathed, his hand still wrapped around Harry’s cock. “Be undressed when I come back, okay?” he told him, and Harry nodded obediently, before Louis finally let go of his dick, and hurried up the stairs.

Harry did as told, and finished pulling his jeans and underwear down, kicking them off. Louis came back with a bottle and the condom, setting them on the stairs. He tugged the rest of his own clothes off, and hurriedly got down onto his knees on the stairs, looking over his shoulder at Harry.

“Come on, then,” he breathed.

Harry nodded, and he moved up behind Louis, though instead of grabbing the lubricant, he leaned forward to leave a long, wet lick across Louis’ rim, forcing a loud whine from the older man.

“Fuck, Hazza,” Louis moaned, pushing back against Harry’s face already.

A smirk spread across Harry’s lips, and he continued, flicking his tongue lightly over Louis’ hole, keeping his movements teasing. “Mm,” he hummed, circling the pink muscle with the tip of his tongue. “You’re so pretty here,” he whispered, and Louis moaned pitifully, pressing his face into the carpet. Harry used his thumb to swirl his saliva against Louis’ rim, and he used his other hand to cup Louis’ balls gently.

“Harry, please,” Louis begged, pushing back again, trying to get Harry’s finger inside.

Harry obeyed now, bringing two of his fingers up to his mouth, sucking them in so he could wet them enough, before he carefully eased one inside Louis.

“Another,” Louis moaned already, moving back so he forced Harry’s finger deeper inside.

“Be patient,” Harry whispered, curving his finger up sharply.

Louis cried out and pushed back harder, his hands balled up into fists against the stairs.

Harry knew that Louis liked it to hurt a little, so he did press in his second finger, and not too long after that he added his third, fucking them into Louis slowly, pulling low moans out of the other man.

“P-please,” Louis whimpered. “Want your cock. Want you inside.”

Harry just hummed, his tongue working between his fingers for a while longer. He would never get enough of Louis, of tasting him and touching him and hearing all the noises he could make. But then Louis was really begging, chanting Harry’s name as he rocked back on his fingers. And Harry wanted to please him. So he pulled his fingers out, and grabbed the condom, rolling it onto his cock, and slicked himself up, nudging against Louis’ hole teasingly. He didn’t give Louis time to complain though, and pushed inside swiftly, groaning low in his throat.

“Yes!” Louis cried out, back arching obscenely. “Fuck, yeah, Haz, come on. Fuck me,” he rambled, looking back over his shoulder again.

Harry growled and tangled his fingers in Louis’ hair, tugging sharply, knowing how much Louis loved it. The other man groaned, and shut up then, while Harry gave Louis what he wanted, snapping his hips forward roughly, setting a fast rhythm.

Louis was a mess, as usual; just taking it from Harry, his head thrown back as he moaned loudly with each thrust. When Harry’s hand left Louis’ hair to grip his shoulder, Louis used one of his hands to try and tug Harry’s fingers to his throat.

Harry’s eyebrows furrowed a little. “Wha--”

“Choke me,” Louis gritted, not letting Harry finish.

“Fucking hell, Lou,” Harry breathed out, just resting his hand against Louis’ throat without actually doing anything.

“Please, Hazza? Please,” Louis begged, trying to get Harry to squeeze.

Harry bit his lip, but he nodded, putting more pressure on Louis’ neck, pushing right up under his jaw.

Louis’ moans got even louder, his body tensing as he gripped the stairs. “Harder,” he commanded.

“O-okay,” Harry murmured, gripping Louis’ throat tighter, still unsure of it.

But it only made Louis whimper desperately, pushing back on Harry’s cock. He loved it. He fucking loved it. And Trevor never did it because he thought it was weird and he didn’t ever do what Louis liked. He fucked him hard. That was it. That’s the only way it ever was. And as much as Louis liked that, he liked it gentle, too. He liked to be treated nicely. And Harry gave him all of it.

“O-oh, fuck. I’m gonna come, Haz,” Louis growled, back arching. “I, I have to flip over, wanna flip over.”

Harry let go of Louis’ throat, and carefully pulled himself out, and he gently helped him lie down on the floor, not wanting him to lie on the stairs on his back. He pushed his cock back inside, and Louis moaned breathily.

“Ah, fuck,” Louis cried, reaching down to grip his own dick, pumping himself. “I fucking love your cock,” he laughed breathily, eyes squeezed shut. “F-feels so good, you feel so good.”

Harry moaned shakily at that, and he leaned forward to slot their lips together messily.

They kissed until Louis came over his fist with a whine, back arched. “Come on me,” he begged, voice wrecked as his hand stilled. “Pull out and come on me, Harry. P-please.”

“Oh my God,” Harry grunted, quickly obeying. He eased himself out of Louis, ripping the condom off so he could jerk himself off over Louis, moaning low in his throat as he spilled over his belly.

Louis hummed while he watched through hooded eyes. “You’re gorgeous when you come,” he whispered.

Harry huffed out a laugh, hovering over Louis as he shook his head fondly. “You’re gorgeous all the time,” he murmured, kissing Louis before he could respond.

Louis wrapped his arms around Harry’s neck, staying close to him. “Thank you,” he whispered against his lips, instead of denying it.

“You like being choked?” Harry said softly, kissing down Louis’ jaw to his neck.

“Mhmm,” Louis answered, petting his clean hand through Harry’s hair. “Sometimes. Not every time.”

Harry nodded, and left light kisses over Louis’ throat, almost a silent apology in case he hurt him at all. “I’ll keep it in mind.”

Louis smiled and pulled Harry back up again, kissing him sweetly, his eyes fluttering.

They stayed on the floor for only a few more moments, before Harry grabbed a few napkins from the kitchen to wipe Louis up. He made sure there wasn’t a mess anywhere as they got back into their clothes. He didn’t want Louis to get in trouble. They shared a few more lazy kisses, before Harry had to go. He wanted to take Louis with him, but the man declined. Louis rid Harry of his pout by grabbing his dick through his jeans, making the younger man yelp and swat Louis’ hand, who only laughed.  
Louis watched Harry go down the path to his car, and he watched him drive away, before he sighed, and retreated to the living room.

***

"Hey. Guess what?" Harry murmured against the skin of Louis' neck.

"What, Hazza?" Louis asked, trailing his fingers over Harry's lower back.

"It's almost your birthday. And Christmas," Harry said, kissing up Louis' jaw, his fingers dancing on Louis' chest.

"Mhmm," Louis hummed, his eyes fluttering. "Few more weeks."

"What do you want for Christmas?" Harry asked, nosing up to Louis' ear, kissing lightly against it. "Already working on your birthday present."

"You don't have to get me two presents," Louis whispered, smiling softly.

Harry let his lips close around Louis' earlobe for a moment, causing the other man to shiver, before he let it go. "I want to."

Louis smiled again, though he was biting down hard on his bottom lip. His cock gave a little twitch, even if he had just come moments ago. "Just make me some cookies or something," he said quietly. "What was the best present you ever got?" he asked, then, wanting to focus on something other than Harry's lips and his hands.

"A bike when I was eight," Harry responded instantly, his lips moving away from Louis' skin finally. "I'd wanted it all year long. Begged my mum for it. And I couldn't believe it when it was next to our tree," he said, smiling fondly at the memory. "What was yours?"

Louis shrugged, and rolled onto his back, looking up at the ceiling. "Probably my Revolver record," he said. "I picked it out myself. My dad took me to the store for my birthday, and I got to pick whatever I wanted. It was the only Beatles’ record in the whole store."

Harry frowned a bit, and turned more onto his side so he could look at Louis. "So, it wasn't wrapped or anything? Did you get any other presents?"

Louis chuckled softly, and reached for Harry's hip, brushing his fingers over the skin. "What's the point of wrapping when I'm just going to rip it open?" he asked, quoting his father from so many years ago. He closed his eyes then, and sighed softly. "I remember when I was young, all I wanted was one of those stupid art box things. You know the ones with like, markers and crayons and colored pencils? And a watercolor paint set?" When Harry nodded, he continued. "I wanted one so badly. My little sisters all had one, but I wanted my own. And I asked if I could have one for Christmas. That was the only thing I asked for," he murmured, opening his eyes again, keeping them trained on the ceiling. "I didn't get it, though. My mum told me they didn't make them anymore. But I'd seen them in the toy stores. Even after that. I asked for it again the next year. And I still didn't get it."

Harry listened to Louis speak, his eyebrows furrowed, and he frowned when Louis finished his story. "Doesn't seem fair," he whispered.

Louis nodded, and shrugged again, before he sat himself up. "Come on. Make me tea," he demanded playfully, standing up from the bed so he could slip his underwear back on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can anyone fucking help me with formatting? Every time I try and put in italics it doesn't work!!!?!?!?! I'm using basic html for it!?!?!? HELP ME PLEASE


	7. You And Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I just posted a chapter the other day, BUT I FINISHED THE WHOLE THING, GUYS! IT'S DONE. Finally. So yeah. I'm gonna post like really frequently until it's all posted!  
> I added lyrics to the beginning of each chapter from the song the chapter is named after. Not super important, but check them out anyway :)
> 
> IMPORTANT: This is the chapter with the non-con/brief rape scene. It's at the end, so, if you don't want to read that part, I will put a little warning ((!!!)) for when you should stop. It's not graphic and it's only a few lines, but I still don't want to make any one uncomfortable. 
> 
> This story takes place in like, the late '80s? I think? Maybe? No cell phones, etc. the more u know.  
> (let me know if you spot any errors. thank you babies <3)

_They say everything it happens for a reason_  
_You can be flawed enough, but perfect for a person_  
_Someone who will be there for you when you fall apart_  
_Guiding your direction when you're riding through the dark  
_ _Oh that's you and me_

_*_

Harry stood a little nervously on the porch, and he shifted the wine bottle into the arm that was holding the bag with the three Christmas presents. He knocked on the door, empty of any sort of decoration, and it opened quickly, Trevor standing there, grinning widely.

“Hey, Harry!” he exclaimed, ushering Harry inside. “Louis is around here, somewhere.”

“Thanks for having me,” Harry said, offering Trevor the bottle.

“You didn't have to bring this,” Trevor smiled, although he took it anyway.

Harry shook his head. “Wanted to,” he said as he glanced around, feeling terribly under dressed in his jeans and jumper, while all the women were wearing short dresses and the men wore slacks and dress shirts. Trevor patted Harry on the back, telling him to enjoy himself as he walked to a group of people.

Harry spotted Louis talking to one of the women, and when Louis saw him, his eyes lit up, causing Harry's heart to flutter a bit. He was wearing tight red jeans and a white button up and Harry couldn’t really stop himself from eyeing him.

Louis excused himself, and moved over to Harry, pulling him in for a one armed hug. “Hey,” he said, smiling.

“Hi,” Harry said. “Thanks for telling me it was formal.”

Louis scoffed and rolled his eyes, looking Harry over. “You look fine. Do you want a drink?”

“No thank you,” Harry said, shaking his head. “Hey. Happy birthday.”

Louis smiled warmly, and looked down at his feet. “You already said that when you called this morning. Those gifts better not all be for me,” he added, looking at the presents in Harry's hand.

Harry shrugged, grinning. “Oops?”

Louis rolled his eyes again, taking Harry's free hand, pulling him towards the empty living room where the fake silver Christmas tree was. “I only got you one thing. Now I look like an arse,” he pouted, sitting Harry down on the sofa.

Harry chuckled, setting the bag at his feet. “Well, it's not my birthday. The first two of these are birthday presents.”

“How can you even afford three presents, diner boy?” Louis teased, eyeing the gifts.

“How can you afford any presents, no job boy?” Harry teased right back, pinching Louis' thigh.

Louis slapped Harry's hand, pouting again. “My stripper money, thank you very much.”

Harry laughed and nodded, his eyebrows raised. “Okay, shut up and open them already,” Harry said, pulling out a box from the bag, dropping it on Louis' lap.

“Let me take my time! This is my first present today,” Louis said, examining the pretty blue snowy paper.

“Trevor didn't get you anything?” Harry asked, frowning.

Louis shrugged, keeping his eyes on the gift. “Well, we don't really do Christmas presents anymore, since he buys me whatever I want all the time,” he said, softly. “And he's gonna take me out to dinner tomorrow for my birthday, since his party's tonight.”

“You're going out for dinner on Christmas?” Harry asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

“That's what we do every year. I get to pick wherever I want to go, and then we come home and he can do whatever he wants to me. Those are our gifts,” Louis said quietly, tugging at the paper on his present. “Can I open it now?”

Harry nodded, still frowning.

Louis ignored Harry's frown, and tore open the paper, his eyes widening as he saw what was inside, and his jaw dropped, staring at Harry. “What the fuck! Where did you get this?” he said happily, looking over the red Walkman. He already had one, of course, but he had mentioned to Harry how he’d wanted a red one, and could never find one.

Harry finally smiled, looking down at Louis. “Well, Zayn helped. He told me to tell you it's from both of us,” he chuckled. “We found it at a store in Cheshire.”

Louis was bouncing with excitement, smiling widely at Harry. “Thank you. God, I can't wait to use it!”

“You'll need something to listen to, yeah?” Harry said, grinning as he handed Louis another box, this one much smaller.

Louis opened it up, absolutely giddy, his smile getting even bigger as he saw the tape. “You made me a mixtape,” he said, beaming at Harry.

Harry nodded, glad that Louis seemed to like his gifts so far. “It’s just got a few songs you said you liked. And some stuff I like.”

“It’s got that dumb Starship song on it, doesn’t it?” Louis laughed, leaning into Harry slightly.

“Maybe,” Harry teased, biting back a grin.

“Okay, my turn,” Louis said, carefully setting down the Walkman and the tape. “Your present isn't nearly as cool or fun or anything like these.” He pouted and stood up, going under the tree to grab a small box, handing it to Harry after he sat down again.

Harry smiled and started to open up the purple paper, smiling widely when he pulled out the pocket watch. “Lou!” he said, grinning at him. “This is so cool!” He turned over the old looking gold watch, a ship emblem on the back. He popped it open, smiling when it ticked, a telescope pictured on the face.

“I just thought you'd like it,” Louis said, smiling fondly. “You like weird shit and boats, so it seemed pretty perfect.”

“It is perfect,” Harry said, looking at Louis. “Thank you so much.”

“Louis,” Trevor's voice filtered in, and both Harry and Louis looked up at him standing in the doorway. “Can I talk to you, babe?”

“Uh, yeah,” Louis said, giving Harry one last smile before he got up, going over to Trevor.

Harry watched Trevor slip his hand over Louis' bum, pulling him close, before he looked down, concentrating on his watch. He briefly thought about how much Louis hated being called _babe_.

“So, Chris just reminded me of this huge conference this weekend in Cambridge for work, and it's really important that I go,” Trevor said quietly.

“That's great, why are you telling me now?” Louis asked, looking up at him.

“Because we're leaving tomorrow,” Trevor said. “And I don't want you to be upset.”

“You're leaving on Christmas? You can't just wait?” Louis said, his eyes wide.

“No, it has to be tomorrow. The train is at seven in the morning.”

Louis frowned, looking away from Trevor. “So you're going to be leaving me alone all day. And then the rest of the weekend.”

"How about you spend the day with Liam?" he suggested.

"Liam's in the States for the holidays," Louis said quietly.

“Look, I promise when I get back we'll do something. We'll go out, and do whatever you want,” Trevor said, cupping Louis' jaw, forcing him to look up. “I promise, okay?”

Louis nodded, staring up at him, his eyes cold.

Trevor smiled and kissed Louis once quickly, before pulling away. “Thanks, babe.” He gave his bum a playful smack before he left the room.

Louis let out a shaky exhale, and crossed his arms over his chest, walking slowly back over to Harry and sitting down on the sofa.

Harry frowned, shifting a little closer to Louis, putting his hand on his shoulder. "You'll come home with me tonight," he said softly, having heard their conversation.

Louis shook his head, laughing bitterly. "I'm not going to crash your family Christmas, Harry."

"Then I'll stay here with you," Harry said. "I'm not going to just let you be alone on Christmas."

"I'll be fine," Louis said, closing his eyes.

Harry slipped his hand up to cradle Louis' face, shaking his head. "You should come home with me," he said again. Firmer this time.         

Louis stared at him for a moment, biting his lip, before he rolled his eyes up slightly, trying to force the sting of tears away. "Okay," he said softly, breaking the gaze, rubbing hard at his eyes with his fists.

Harry smiled and gently rubbed over Louis' back for a second, before he was reaching down to pull the other gift out of the bag. "Ready for your last present?"

Louis nodded quickly, smiling up at Harry as he put the gift in his lap. He picked it up and shook it lightly, hearing a few things rattling around. "I swear, if this is one of those stupid jigsaw puzzles you always do, I'm gonna--" he stopped himself as he ripped open the paper, his smile fading, his mouth hanging open a bit. The tears he had just felt came back full force as he read over the black box, the images showing all the ways to use the colorful art supplies inside. Louis didn't even finish opening it before he was throwing himself at Harry, wrapping his arms tightly around his neck as he started crying, pressing his face into Harry's shoulder.

Harry slipped his arms around Louis' middle, holding him close. "I'm sorry," he said, frowning a bit. "I just thought maybe like, I don't know."

Louis pulled back, shaking his head; his hands sliding to cup Harry's face as he kissed him softly, squeezing his eyes shut while his tears stained his cheeks.

Harry was frozen, his arms still tight around Louis' middle. He didn't want to get caught, but he couldn't really help himself from kissing back.

"It's lovely," Louis breathed against Harry's lips. "You're lovely. You're so incredibly lovely, Harry. Thank you."

Harry smiled softly, reaching up to thumb under Louis' eyes. "You're welcome," he whispered, gently pushing Louis away, just in case Trevor came back.

Louis wiped at his eyes and let out an embarrassed little laugh. "Do you think your family will mind having me?"

"Not at all," Harry said, tucking a piece of Louis' hair behind his ear. "It's just, I'm leaving tonight. Would that be okay?"

Louis nodded quickly, gathering up the crumpled wrappers on the floor, clutching the art box tightly to his chest. "Let me go pack a few things, and we can go. I just wanna get out of here," he said, walking towards the stairs.

Harry nodded, and took the trash from Louis' hands after he'd carefully put his new watch in his pocket. He smiled at him as he watched him go upstairs, and he moved into the kitchen, maneuvering around the people so he could throw away the wrappings. He made his way back into the living room, sitting down on the sofa.

Louis walked down the stairs a few moments later, a small duffel bag in his hand, the art box still in his arm, smiling when Harry stood up so he could take the bag for him. "Thank you," Louis said, standing up on his toes to kiss Harry's cheek.

He led Harry back into the kitchen, finding Trevor, and tugging at his arm.

Trevor instantly held up his hand, finger pointed, telling Louis to wait while he finished his conversation, and Louis crossed his arms, tapping his foot.

When Trevor finally turned around, he smiled, glancing at Louis, then at Harry, staring down at the duffel bag. "Yeah, babe?"

"I'm going home with Harry this weekend," Louis told him. "And we're leaving right now. Just wanted to say good night."

Trevor frowned, his eyebrows furrowing. "You can't just go," he said, eyes flickering to Harry again, trying to contain himself.

"Yes I can," Louis said. "And I'm going to. I'll see you when you get back."

Louis turned then, but Trevor grabbed his arm a bit roughly, looking up when Harry took a defensive step forward. Trevor let go, but leaned close so he could speak to Louis quietly. "I haven't gotten my present yet," he said, voice warning.

Louis pulled back, looking up into Trevor's eyes. "Neither have I," he said, setting his jaw. "But I _promise_ you'll get it when you come home," he added mockingly, before he turned, Harry following quickly, while Trevor stared after them, a bit dumbfounded.

When they got out into Harry's car, Louis finally let out the breath he was holding, closing his eyes and relaxing against the seat.

Harry pulled out of the driveway, and reached over to gently rub against the back of Louis' neck. "You okay?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah," Louis said, his eyes still closed, enjoying Harry's touch. "I'm gonna get it when I get home, though," he added with a humorless chuckle.

"Maybe you just shouldn't go home, then," Harry said, frowning.

Louis opened his eyes and frowned over at Harry. "Please don't start with that."

“You don’t have to put up with that.”

“Harry, please,” Louis said, staring at him.

Harry apologized quietly, and pulled his hand back, focusing on the road. The rest of the drive was silent, except for the soft hum of the radio that Louis had turned on. When they arrived at Harry's flat, Harry pulled onto the side of the street, since they'd be coming right back out.

"I just have to grab my bag," Harry said as he flicked the light on in the flat, letting Louis in.

Louis nodded, following Harry into his bedroom, sitting down on the bed. "Will I get to thank you properly tonight?" he asked, reaching forward to put his hand on Harry's hip.

Harry smiled and put his hand over Louis,' lacing their fingers. "You already have thanked me properly."

"Harry," Louis said, staring up at him, an eyebrow raised.

"You don't need to thank me with your body," Harry said, softly.

"What if I want to?" Louis asked, bringing his free hand up to gently tug on Harry's belt.

Harry smiled again, and bent down, cupping Louis' face with his hands, kissing him sweetly. "I guess if you _must_ ," he teased, but Louis ignored him, capturing his lips again, kissing him deeper. Harry pulled back just as Louis tugged him close by his hips, chuckling when Louis whined. "We have to go, Lou," he murmured, forcing himself to step away. "Three hour drive and all that."

Louis pouted, but stood anyway. "Are you sure you want me along?" he asked, looking up at Harry.

"Of course I do. I wouldn't have asked if I didn't," Harry told him, smiling.

Louis nodded, returning Harry's smile.

They arrived at Harry's home in Cheshire around ten, and Louis looked up at the nicely decorated house, most of the lights still on inside. He bit his lip and watched Harry get their bags, nervousness suddenly filling him.

Harry smiled and moved close to Louis. "Calm down," he said gently. "Everyone's gonna love you."

Louis shrugged, and followed as Harry started up the path to the door, opening it up.

They were greeted with the smell of cookies baking, and Louis' eyes immediately honed in on the giant, green, fully decorated Christmas tree in the living room, his face lighting up.

"Mum?" Harry called softly, moving to set their bags at the foot of the staircase.

"Harry!" Anne exclaimed, practically running out from the kitchen, a crooked apron around her waist.

Harry smiled widely and hugged his mother tightly, pressing his face into her hair.

"Oh, I'm so glad you're here," she said softly, her smile as wide as Harry's as she pulled back, finally noticing Louis. "Oh, goodness, I'm so sorry. Hello, dear. You must be Louis," She said, walking to him and pulling him into a warm hug. "I've heard so much about you."

Louis chuckled lightly. "I hope that's a good thing," he said, pulling back when she did, winking over at Harry, who was blushing. "I hope it's no trouble that I'm here."

"Of course not!" Anne said, beaming. "The more the merrier, yeah?"

"Uncle Harry!" came a scream from the kitchen, a little girl running out with her arms up in the air.

"Zoe-bean!" Harry said happily, bending down so the girl could run into his arms. "Hi, baby girl," he said, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "What are you still doing up?"

"She won't go to sleep," another woman said, leaning in the doorway with her arms crossed, though she was smiling fondly.

"Hi, Gemma," Harry chuckled, holding his other arm open as she walked towards him, hugging him around his waist.

Louis stayed back, smiling at all the reunions, feeling a little jealous of how close Harry obviously was with his family.

Harry, of course, noticed Louis stepping back, and he grinned over at him. "Lou, this is my sister, Gemma; and my niece, Zoey," he said, smiling, big and dimpled. "And this is my friend, Louis," he said to Gemma and Zoey.

Louis gave a little wave, smiling at Zoey who kept looking at him. "Nice to meet you all," he said, genuinely.

"Let's go back in the kitchen. I don't want to burn anything," Anne said, ushering everyone out of the living room.

Harry held a chair out for Louis to sit in, and he smiled up at him thankfully, as Harry sat down next to him, Zoey clutching him, sitting in his lap, her eyes still trained on Louis.

"Hi," Louis said to her quietly, smiling when she did. "How old are you?"

Zoey beamed, holding up her hand with all five fingers spread out, though she frowned when Harry pushed her thumb down, laughing. "You're still four, love."

"But I'll be five soon!" Zoey said, pouting up at Harry.

"Yeah, in a year," Harry laughed. "So why are you still awake?"

Zoey frowned, looking down at her hands, picking at her already chipping pink nail polish. "What if Santa doesn't know I'm here?" she asked, sadly.

"He'll know," Harry reassured her, reaching up to fix one of her barrettes. "He knows everything. Don't worry."

"Promise?"

"I pinky swear," Harry smiled, holding up his pinky to her, and she instantly wrapped her pinky around his, smiling.

Louis watched fondly, feeling his heart swell a little. It was adorable, seeing Harry interact with the girl, seeing how much he clearly loved her.

"All right, see?" Gemma said, walking over and leaning against the table. “Even Uncle Harry says Santa will be here. Time for bed, now."

Zoey nodded, and kissed Harry's cheek, scooting out of his lap. She scrunched up her hand in a little wave at Louis, before she took Gemma's hand, following her out of the kitchen.

"She's so cute," Louis said quietly, looking up at Harry.

"Yeah. She's the best," Harry said, smiling. "She's hilarious. Just wait until she gets going tomorrow."

Louis nodded, stifling a yawn just as Anne brought over a plate of cookies.

"You boys must be tired," she said. "Taste test for me real quick, and then you should get some sleep."

Harry chuckled, and nodded, taking a cookie, just as Louis did the same.

After eating the cookies and letting Anne know they were delicious, Harry led Louis up to his old childhood bedroom.

Louis looked around at all the still intact posters and things hanging from the wall, and he teased Harry about his Spider-Man sheets. "Your family is wonderful," he said, sitting down on the bed. "Does Zoey have a dad?" he asked softly, eyeing Harry as he tugged off his jumper.

"Yeah. He was away this week on business. Like, he had to go or he'd get fired kind of thing," Harry said, pulling a pair of sweatpants out of his bag. "But he managed to get tomorrow free, so my dad lied to Gemma and said he was going to get my Aunt, which he is, but he's also picking Alex up from the airport so he can be with us tomorrow."

"That's really sweet," Louis said, again feeling jealousy run through him. Why couldn't Trevor have just taken tomorrow off? Gone on his trip the next day.

"Mhmm," Harry hummed, starting to undo his jeans. "She's gonna be so happy. They both are."

Louis watched Harry pull off his jeans, and he stood, walking over to him, stopping him from putting on the sweatpants. "So, your mum's heard a lot about me, huh?" he asked, smirking, running his hands down Harry's torso, thumbing at his butterfly tattoo.

"I may have mentioned you once or twice," Harry said, smiling down at Louis, his hands resting on his hips.

"'You must be Louis!'" Louis repeated Harry's mother. "She knew I was coming? You planned this, didn't you?"

Harry laughed and nodded. "Yeah. Totally. You caught me."

"Knew it," Louis murmured, pushing up on his toes so he could kiss Harry.

Harry moved a hand up to Louis' face, his other staying on his hip as he kissed him back, eagerly greeting Louis' tongue with his own.

"Wanna fuck me on your Spider-Man bed?" Louis breathed out a laugh against Harry's lips.

"As long as you actually want me to, and aren't just thanking me," Harry whispered, pressing their foreheads together.

Louis nodded slowly, reaching down to start unbuttoning his shirt. "I want to," he said, looking up at Harry as he replaced Louis' hands with his own, undoing his shirt and sliding it off his shoulders before he kissed him again, deeper this time.

They ended up fucking on the floor, since the bed squeaked every time either of them moved. Harry licked Louis out and fingered him open until he was writhing on his hands and knees, begging desperately for Harry's cock. Harry fucked Louis hard, pulling his hair and slapping his bum and even choking him a little, and Harry had to cover Louis' mouth at one point, since he was being way too loud. The motion simply made Louis moan louder, his body only taking a few more of Harry's deep, perfectly angled thrusts before he was coming untouched all over the hardwood floor, Harry spilling into the condom seconds after.

The weekend was amazing. Harry’s family were all so warm and kind, and Louis had never felt more welcomed by strangers. Harry introduced Louis to everyone as his friend, of course, though his hand was pressed to Louis’ lower back every time he would meet someone new.   
Christmas day was filled with cookies and laughter and hugging. Everyone was happy. Louis helped Harry, Gemma, and Anne hustle around the kitchen to prepare dinner, until both men were shooed out so Anne and Gemma could finish on their own. Louis played with Harry’s niece and his young cousins, and laughed so much that his cheeks hurt.  
At one point, Harry and Louis must have been too pressed together on the couch, Louis basically tucked into Harry’s side, and Harry’s Aunt asked them how long they’d been dating.

“Oh, we uh, we’re not,” Harry had said, his cheeks flushed deeply, and Louis had just laughed softly, looking up at Harry fondly.

As they all sat down to enjoy the meal Anne prepared, she instructed everyone around the table to say something they were thankful for (a family tradition), and the answers ranged from family, to job security, to a racecar set received from Santa Claus. Upon Harry’s turn, he was thankful of course for his family, but he turned to Louis, and explained how happy he was that they’d met. It made Louis’ heart ache, and he smiled warmly, before he thanked the entire table for being so kind to him, and he thanked Harry for everything. They exchanged a lingering stare while everyone clinked their glasses together.

After wishing everyone good bye as they slowly left the house, Harry and Louis retreated to Harry’s bedroom, and they fucked until the early morning. But if Harry thought of it more as making love with Louis, no one had to know. Louis may have thought the same thing, anyway.

On Saturday, Harry took Louis all around his hometown, showing him little shops, and his old primary school, and the park, and the bakery where he had his first job. They held hands all day, fingers laced together, and Louis would press his face into Harry’s chest or shoulder whenever the wind would pick up. It started to snow as they walked back from having dinner at the fancy little restaurant in town, and Louis stopped them on the pavement so he could wrap his arms around Harry’s neck, and he kissed him sweetly. Harry’s hands fit over Louis’ waist, and his eyes fluttered closed, kissing Louis back just as softly.

Louis pulled back after a moment, and looked up at Harry, his eyes fond. “Thank you so much for today. And yesterday,” he whispered.

“You’re welcome,” Harry murmured, and he kissed Louis’ nose, before taking his hand again, and they started to walk once more.

***

Sunday afternoon, Louis was laughing at something Harry said as he opened his front door, letting them in, though his laughter died down when he saw Trevor standing with his arms crossed.

"Where the fuck have you been?" Trevor asked, glaring at Louis, not even caring that Harry was in the room.

"I told you, I went home with Harry for the weekend," Louis said calmly, setting his bag on the floor.

"I've been waiting for you all day," Trevor said, stepping close to Louis, his eyes dark and angry. "Get up stairs. Now."

"We were actually just leaving again," Harry said defensively, walking forward, wanting to distance Louis and Trevor.

Trevor's head snapped up, glaring at Harry. "He isn't going anywhere with you," he growled, stepping right up against Harry, staring down at him. "I don't think the two of you will be friends anymore."

"You can't stop him from having friends," Harry said, not shifting from his spot, keeping his eyes locked with Trevor's.

"Watch me," Trevor snarled, just as Louis squeezed his way between them, shoving his hands up against Trevor's chest.

"Stop it!" he said, staring up at Trevor. "Just, wait for me upstairs, yeah? I'll be right up," he whispered, batting his eyes a little, leaning up to kiss at his jaw.

Trevor stepped back, breathing heavily through his nose. "Get him out of my house," he mumbled, turning and going up the stairs.

Louis flinched a little when he heard a door slam, and he turned to Harry, frowning. "Please, you can't do that. You can't, Harry."

"He can't talk to you that way," Harry said, exasperated. "Just come home with me. You don't have to deal with this. I can't leave you here with him."

"It'll be worse the longer I stay away," Louis murmured, his hands sliding up Harry's chest. "I'll be fine. We'll fight, yeah. And then we'll fuck. And then he'll kiss me after and tell me he loves me. It'll all be all right."

Harry felt his eyes pricking angrily, and he shook his head slowly, looking down between them. "I just. I want you to be safe."

"I know," Louis said, smiling slightly, reaching up to touch Harry's hair, smoothing it. "I'll be fine. Go home, Haz. I'll see you tomorrow night, yeah?"

Harry finally looked back up, his eyes sad, as he nodded once, before he slowly reached up to cradle Louis' face in his hands, gently bringing him forward to kiss him softly.

Louis let out a tiny noise, his hands moving to wrap around Harry's wrists as he kissed back, just soft presses of lips, Harry kissing him like he was actually worth something. Their tongues met briefly, the kiss still slow and gentle, Harry's hands tucked under Louis' jaw delicately. His heart throbbed lightly in his chest, feeling his eyes stinging when Harry pulled away. "What was that for?" he whispered, eyes fluttering back open and he took one of Harry's hands, lacing their fingers.

"Because even when it's all over, and he tells you he loves you, he isn't going to kiss you like that," Harry murmured, dropping his hands, pulling away from Louis. "Goodnight," he added, giving Louis one last glance before he let himself out.

**(!!!)**

Louis stared at the door when it closed; his fingers and lips tingling, still feeling Harry there. He swallowed thickly and pinched the bridge of his nose before he slowly walked up the stairs, going into their bedroom.

It wasn't as bad as he thought it was going to be. Trevor mostly just yelled at him, only hitting him a few times, though he got him good on the eye, it swelling almost immediately. The sex was quick, Trevor not giving Louis enough time to adjust before he was fucking into him hard. Louis felt guilty when he came, and he felt awful when Trevor forced Louis' mouth open, coming down his throat, Louis choking around him.

Louis cleaned himself up, and lay back down in the bed while Trevor showered. He pressed his face into the pillow, mindful of his swollen eye, and tried to keep the burn of tears away.

When Trevor came out of the bathroom, he crawled into bed, looking over at Louis, staring at the back of his head. "I really don't think you should hang out with Harry anymore," he said. "I don't like the way he looks at you."

"Why? Because he looks at me like I'm a person, and not a fucking sex toy?" Louis mumbled.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Trevor spat, sitting up.

Louis sighed quietly, shaking his head. "Nothing."

"You think that's how I look at you?" Trevor gritted, throwing the duvet back, exposing Louis.

Louis looked up at him, his eyes wide. "N-no, I just. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it," he said.

Trevor scoffed, hovering over Louis, shoving his head back down onto the pillow. "Maybe that's how I should treat you. Like a fucking sex toy," he growled, pinning Louis' hips to the bed with his own.

"Trevor, please, no. Not again tonight, please," Louis begged, trying to push up against him, fear building in him.

"Sex toys don't get to say no," Trevor said, pushing Louis' head down harder, holding him by the back of his neck as he forced his cock back inside Louis.

Louis let out a wail, his body tensing instantly. He was already so sore from the first time, and this just felt like Trevor was ripping him in half. "Trevor, p-please," he cried, his body trembling.

"Shut up, whore," Trevor snarled, snapping his hips forward relentlessly.

Louis didn't know what to do. It didn't feel good at all; he was trying his hardest to think of it as rough sex, trying to get his body to enjoy it. But it was too painful, Trevor hurting him all over. When Trevor came again, releasing inside him, Louis bit down hard on his lip, feeling completely and utterly disgusting.

Trevor collapsed on Louis, pulling out quickly. "Fuck, that was so good babe,” he mumbled, yanking Louis back by his hair, kissing his lips sloppily, Louis' own mouth unresponsive. "I’ve always wanted to do that."

Louis stayed silent as Trevor rolled off of him, covering himself up with the duvet. Louis stood from the bed on shaky legs, crossing his arms over his body as he limped to the bathroom, locking himself in. He turned the shower on as hot as he could handle it, and sat down inside the tub, pulling his knees to his chest, finally letting himself cry. Why had he even said anything? Why didn’t he just go home with Harry? He reached shaking fingers up to touch his lips, crying even harder.

He was right. Trevor would never kiss Louis like Harry did. Because Trevor didn't love him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone that's curious...here's the mixtape that Harry made:
> 
> Jefferson Starship - We Built This City  
> The Beatles - Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds  
> The Beatles - Eleanor Rigby  
> Michael Sembello - Maniac  
> Deniece Williams - Let's Hear It For The Boy  
> Vanilla Fudge - You Keep Me Hanging On  
> Bob Dylan - Mr. Tambourine Man  
> The Smiths - There is a Light that Never Goes Out
> 
> Come say hello at austinattack.tumblr.com <3


	8. Capsized

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit happens.

_We were two ships in the night,_  
_Passing by in the pale moonlight, and capsized_  
_We were two ships in the night,_  
_Hellbent on trying to survive, and capsized_

_*****_

"You know, on New Year's Eve you're supposed to share a secret," Louis told Harry, looking up at him, smiling as everyone started to count down from thirty.

Harry chuckled and looked down at Louis, his hand sliding over his lower back. "Don't think I have any secrets," he said, shrugging.

Louis rolled his eyes and pressed a little closer, setting his drink down on the coffee table. "You've gotta have at least one. Come on."

"I really don't!" Harry laughed. "I'll try to think of one, okay? And I'll get back to you."

"You better," Louis grinned, joining in with the crowd of people in Harry’s flat as they counted down from five.

When the clock struck midnight, everyone cheered, and Harry smiled as he looked around, spotting couples kissing or hugging, even seeing Zayn smack a kiss to Niall's surprised face.

Louis poked his shoulder, and when Harry looked down, Louis slipped his hands gently over the back of his neck, pulling him close. "It's New Year’s, it's okay, I think," he whispered, and before Harry could agree or protest, Louis was pressing their lips together, right out in the open, in the living room full of people.

Harry's hands moved over Louis' waist, and he dipped him low playfully, Louis letting out a giggle against his lips before he pulled back, smiling brightly.

The rest of the night was perfect, Harry thought. Louis was clingy and touchy, choosing to sit in Harry's lap for most of the remaining time, his hands constantly on him.

When people started filing out, leaving to make their drunken walks back to their own flats, Liam offered to drive Louis home, though he declined, pressing a kiss to Liam's and Sophia's cheeks, seeing them out before he scurried to the bathroom.

Niall was passed out on the couch, and Zayn was covering him up with a blanket when the last of the guests left.

"Why not just take him to your room?" Harry winked at Zayn, making kissing noises at him.

"Why not just fuck off?" Zayn said, flipping his middle finger up.

Harry chuckled and smiled widely when Louis came back out of the bathroom, pressing against Harry's side. "I'm sleepy. Can we clean later?" he murmured, batting his eyes up at Harry.

Zayn smirked; making sure Niall's head was tilted down, in case he vomited. "Take your boy to bed, Haz," Zayn teased. "I'll clean up some. I'm wired, anyway. Just don't be loud," he scolded, mostly looking at Louis.

Louis smiled innocently, shrugging his shoulders as he tugged on Harry's hand, pulling him into his bedroom, closing the door by pressing Harry's back up against it, kissing him messily.

Harry chuckled into Louis' mouth, his hands molding over his hips, pulling him close so their bodies were tightly together.

Louis let out a soft moan, melting against Harry, his hands moving to tangle in his hair, whining when Harry pulled away. "Don't stop. Please," he whispered. "I want you. I'm not drunk. I made sure I didn't drink that much. I want you; want you so much. I'm not drunk. Please, Harry."

Harry looked down at Louis, their darkened gazes mirroring each other. "Yeah. Okay," Harry breathed, bending a little so he could pick Louis up, his hands pressed under his thighs, carrying him the short distance to the bed, and gently laid him down. He kissed him again; one arm tucked under his body, all the way around, so his hand was formed over his opposite side, his free hand cradling Louis' face.

Louis' body arched up against Harry as he moaned against his lips, licking into his mouth while his arms wrapped securely around his neck. He rolled his hips up, earning a moan from Harry as his thigh pressed against his erection, and Louis smiled into the kiss, moving his leg again. "Wanna ride you," Louis panted as Harry started kissing down his jaw, leaving little bites along the way.

Harry ignored him as he slid down onto his knees on the floor; pushing Louis' shirt up, pressing light kisses to his belly. He was thankful when Louis reached down to tug his shirt off completely. Harry kissed up Louis' torso, wrapping his lips around one of Louis' nipples for just a moment, loving the moan that came from the elder’s mouth, his hips bucking. Harry kissed back down Louis' chest, licking into his navel before he trailed his tongue on Louis' skin just above the top of his jeans.

Louis let out a shaky moan, propping himself up on his elbows to watch Harry, his pupils blown. "I'm already open," he murmured when Harry started to unbutton his jeans. "Did it in the bathroom."

Harry looked up at him, eyebrows furrowed. "But that's my favorite part," he complained, pressing his face against Louis' underwear, mouthing over his erection. "Love getting you ready for me," he whispered, smirking when he felt Louis shiver. He tugged his jeans and underwear down in a one movement, Louis moaning as his cock slapped up against his belly. "God, you're fucking beautiful," Harry murmured, dragging his hands down Louis' torso, the other man arching into the touch. Harry thumbed at Louis' nipples as he licked into Louis' slit, moaning when Louis' cock twitched, leaking out on his tongue.

"Harry, please," Louis whined, reaching a hand down to grip his hair, his thighs quivering already.

Harry nodded, pressing his tongue flat against Louis' balls, then, licking a fat line up his cock, his eyes locked with Louis,' before he was lifting his legs up, pressing his thighs against his belly, and instantly pushed his face into Louis' bum, his tongue lapping wetly at his rim.

"Oh, _fuck_! Fuck yes, Harry. _God_ ," Louis groaned, his back arching as he reached both hands down to tangle in Harry's hair, tugging roughly, and Harry moaned desperately, delving his tongue inside Louis.

Harry brought a hand down to cup Louis' balls, his thumb pressing firmly against his perineum, and Louis' body twitched, his back arching further. Harry worked his jaw expertly, sucking and licking at Louis' rim, his free hand coming down to grip Louis' bum. "You taste so good," Harry rasped out, pressing his tongue flat to Louis' hole, before wiggling it back inside him, prodding his middle finger against him.

"Ah, fuck, please," Louis begged, thighs trembling as he tried to push down on Harry's finger.

Harry obeyed, sucking his digit into his mouth for a moment, wetting it thoroughly, before he pushed it into Louis' tight heat, going all the way to the silver ring pressed to his knuckle.

With Louis' eager encouragements, Harry had three fingers up inside him quickly while his mouth worked along Louis' length, bobbing on him sloppily. Louis was a mess, his hair all over the place and his skin flushed red down to his chest, rolling his hips down against Harry's fingers, his body shaking as he yanked on Harry's hair, forcing him off of his cock. "Wanna ride you," he panted, staring down at Harry's hooded eyes.

Harry nodded, leaning up to kiss Louis deeply, his fingers still stretching him out. Louis tugged at the back of Harry's shirt, pulling it off of him just as Harry gently eased his fingers out of him, wiping them on his jeans. Louis sat up and helped Harry get undressed fully, before he was pulling him down onto the bed, pressing his back flat against the mattress. Louis straddled Harry, rolling his hips so his bum slipped against Harry's cock, the younger man letting out a strained moan. Louis smirked, reaching back to take hold of Harry's dick, catching the tip on his rim, loving the noises coming from Harry's mouth. He was always so impressed with how hard Harry got just from eating him out. It made him feel good about himself, knowing that Harry actually enjoyed doing it--hell, he fucking loved it.

Louis leaned over so he could grab the lubricant and a condom out of Harry's nightstand, and he smiled fondly, biting his lip when Harry wrapped his arms around his waist and pressed wet kisses to his chest, his eyes closed.

Harry stayed like that, holding Louis tightly as his lips memorized his skin once more, kissing and sucking and biting gently, while Louis reached back to slip the condom on him, squeezing some lubricant onto his fingers and stroking along Harry's length. Louis caught the tip on his rim again, before he started sinking down, and Harry reached a hand up to cradle Louis' jaw, making him look up at him as he pressed their foreheads together. Both of their jaws slackened slightly as Louis sat down fully, panting against each other's mouths, before Harry connected them, kissing Louis tenderly as he rolled his hips in Harry's lap.

It was more intimate than Louis had intended, his hands holding the sides of Harry's neck as he started to bounce on him in a steady, slow rhythm; Harry locking their gaze, his hands gently rubbing up and down Louis' back.

Harry moaned quietly, the slick drag of Louis’ around him made his vision go a little blurry, his cock deep inside Louis as the other moved quicker, his hips going in little desperate circles.

Louis panted against Harry's lips before he kissed him sloppy and sweet, his legs already shaking tremendously, his body aching with want.

Harry lifted his hips so he could start meeting Louis' movements, and Louis moaned loudly into Harry's mouth, tangling his fingers in his hair again. Harry's cock throbbed inside Louis, the heat so perfect around him, the drag on him each time Louis moved up and down was incredible, and he let out a soft groan, his arms wrapping securely around Louis' little body once more, one hand reaching up to grip his hair.

"You're so beautiful," Harry breathed out against Louis' ear, his voice almost starling Louis.

Louis wrapped his arms tighter around Harry's neck, finally giving up, his body already exhausted, giving Harry control, moaning as his hips snapped up into him

"So, so beautiful, Louis," Harry continued, panting. "Loveliest boy I've ever met. Deserve the fucking world, you do. Deserve so much more than what you've got."

Louis squeezed his eyes shut, whimpering as Harry thrusted up into him, knowingly hitting his prostate every single time. He was overwhelmed, Harry's words and his movements making him feel cared about--made him feel good and happy and loved.

"Need you to know how much I care about you," Harry murmured shakily as his thrusts got sloppier. "How much I _want_ you. All the time. I want you all the time."

"Ha-Harry," Louis whined, his hips rutting down desperately, his eyes burning from tears threatening. He pulled Harry's head up so he could kiss him again, weakly, squeezing his shoulders; Harry's hands warm on his lower back. "I, m'gonna, g-gonna come," he whimpered, riding down sporadically, his body twitching as his orgasm washed over him quickly, Harry pounding him through it, whispering lovely things against his ear.

Harry came moments after, groaning low in his throat as he buried his face in Louis' neck.

Louis couldn't stop his eyes from leaking, a few tears slipping down his cheeks as he panted, trying to catch his breath.

Harry nosed up under his jaw, his arms wrapping around him again, feeling his body shaking. "It's okay," he whispered, gently easing himself out of Louis, rolling them over so Louis was pressed against the bed now, the older man's hands coming up to cover his face. Harry tied off the condom and threw it away, before he grabbed a towel out of his dresser. He quickly wiped down Louis' belly, and between his legs, before he crawled back onto the bed, pulling Louis against him. "I'm sorry," he murmured, tugging the duvet over them.

Louis went willingly, sobbing softly into his hands as he shook his head, mumbling something about Harry being the lovely one. His heart ached in his chest, so painfully gone for the man holding him, and he was terrified.

Harry just held him close, rocking them gently and he hummed quietly, trying to sooth Louis.

Eventually, Louis relaxed, looking up and smiling a little embarrassingly up at Harry. They exchanged a few soft kisses, Louis reassuring and promising Harry that he was okay.  

Harry trailed his fingers lightly over Louis' skin until Louis went lax against him. "I figured out my secret," he whispered, but Louis was already asleep before Harry could tell him that he loved him.

***

Harry had been awake for almost twenty minutes, rolled onto his side so he could look at Louis, the man's chest rising and falling steadily. Louis had been twitching a bit though, so Harry knew he was going to wake up soon.

Louis' eyes fluttered slightly, and he blinked up at Harry, a tiny smile tugging on his lips. "Do you always watch me sleep?" he teased, voice thick and raspy.

"Maybe," Harry chuckled, opening his arms when Louis scooted closer, pressing his body up against Harry's.

"Bit creepy, innit?" Louis smiled, nosing under Harry's jaw.

Harry laughed lightly, and shrugged, kissing Louis' forehead.

They lazed around in bed for a while, kissing and touching and giggling, their kisses eventually turning heated when Louis rolled on top of Harry so they could rut against each other. It ended, though, when they heard someone vomiting in the bathroom, and Louis laughed and got off of Harry, just cuddling against his side again.

"Lou?" Harry murmured after a few moments.

"Yeah?" Louis said, tracing patterns on Harry's chest.

"I've got to tell you something," Harry whispered, staring up at the ceiling.

Louis frowned and sat up slightly, looking down at Harry. "What is it?" he asked softly. "You better not be telling me you have fucking cancer or something."

Harry chuckled humorlessly, shaking his head. "No. Nothing like that."

"Then what is it?" Louis asked again, tilting his head as reaching forward to play with Harry's curls.

Harry looked up at him, his eyes moving from Louis' to his lips, and back to his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again, biting his lip.

"Spit it out, kid," Louis teased, smiling warmly.

Harry watched Louis' eyes, brighter than they usually were. Louis was so beautiful, and Harry was so terrified. "I'm in love with you," he whispered, voice barely audible.

Louis' smile fell slowly, and he stared down at Harry, shaking his head slightly. "No you aren't," he whispered, pulling his hands away from Harry. "Don't be stupid."

"Maybe it is stupid," Harry said quietly, his eyes still focused on Louis. "But I am. And I think you might be--"

"Don't ruin this," Louis cut him off, moving off the bed so he could grab his underwear, slipping them on. "Don't you dare ruin this. You're not in fucking love with me."

Harry frowned, his eyes pricking a bit. "Don't ruin what? Us kissing and cuddling and going out together and you sleeping over and--"

Louis shook his head, cutting Harry off again. "Stop. Harry, you've become such a good friend," he said softly. "You're a good friend. And a great fuck. But that's what this is. You're just a fuck," Louis whispered slowly.

Harry bit his lip hard, staring up at Louis with brimming eyes. "How can you say that?"

"I have a boyfriend, for Christ sakes, Harry," Louis said, sighing as he pulled on his jeans. "Who I'm fucking cheating on."

"Yeah, a boyfriend who fucking beats and rapes you," Harry mumbled.

Louis glared at Harry, his hands shaking as he did up his jeans. "You don't know anything."

"That's bullshit," Harry said, gripping the duvet hard in his hands. "You don't love him. And you know damn well that he doesn't love you."

Louis ignored him, grabbing his jumper and slipping it on, before he searched out his socks, scrambling to find them. "I can't do this anymore," he whispered. "I'm going home. And you're not going to call me."

Harry's lower lip wobbled, and he bit down on it to try and control it, failing. "Lou, please," he tried, his voice cracking.

"It didn't have to be this way. But you. Fuck. I can't do this," Louis said, feeling his own eyes well up angrily. "You ruined it. You're not in love with me, Harry."

"Yes, I am," Harry murmured, staring up at him, eyes pleading.

Louis shook his head, looking down at him one last time before he opened the bedroom door. He walked right passed Niall and Zayn, who greeted him, ignoring them so he could walk to the front, and left, slamming the door behind him.

Zayn and Niall exchanged a glance before they were scurrying up, moving quickly into Harry's room. Harry had his knees pulled to his chest and his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking with quiet sobs.

"Haz," Zayn breathed, frowning as he was instantly moving to Harry. He got into bed with him and wrapped him up in his arms, Harry going willingly, leaning against Zayn's chest.

Niall followed, clutching his upset stomach, and got on Harry's other side, leaning his head against him.

"What happened, babe?" Zayn asked quietly, gently stroking his fingers through Harry's hair.

Harry just shook his head, crying into his hands, only looking up for a moment when he felt the sheets move down from him. "I'm naked," he warned, sniffling.

Niall shrugged and got up carefully, and went to Harry's dresser, pulling out a pair of boxers. He and Zayn helped Harry into them, before they both cuddled up against him once more.

"I told him I loved him," Harry whimpered out, clutching Zayn's shirt, pressing his face against his shoulder. "I'm so fucking stupid."

"You're not stupid, Harry," Niall immediately said, rubbing gently over his side.

Zayn just held Harry tighter, his heart breaking for the boy in his arms. He knew it was going to happen. He knew that Louis was going to hurt Harry in some way. And Zayn was furious.

"What's wrong with me?" Harry asked softly, his tears continuing, not being able to stop them. "Why can't he love me back? What's wrong with me?"

"There's nothing wrong with you, Zayn said, Niall quickly nodding in agreement. "You're perfect, Haz. He's a fucking idiot," Zayn said, trying to keep the venom out of his voice.

The two of them spent the day in Harry's bed, cuddling and coddling him, trying their best to make him feel better. It didn't work well, Zayn not really being able to say much that wasn't foul towards Louis, and Niall only saying nice things about Harry, bringing him continuous snacks that Harry didn't eat.

It didn't make him feel better at all. Harry's heart was broken, and he was so, so terribly sad. Louis had _told_ him how wonderful he was. Had told Harry how good he made him feel, and how much he liked being around him. Harry just couldn't understand why Louis would ever still want to be with Trevor. He would never understand it. All he wanted was to be with Louis, to show him how much he loved him. He had so much to offer, he thought. Maybe he didn’t have money, but with what Louis had told him, he didn’t care about Trevor’s money. Louis just didn’t know what he deserved. And Harry wanted to give him everything **.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops? Hey. Comment if you're into it??? It would be super nice :)


	9. No Ordinary Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't get your hopes up.  
> ( I know I keep posting too quickly. Oh well. Love u guys<3)  
> Warning: Minor violence.  
> There is a hyperlink to a photo in this chapter that the LOVELY ptp-explicit did for me, and you should definitely click it when you come to it. It is NSFW so just be warned!

_Didn't I tell you what I believe,_  
_Did somebody say that a love like that won't last_  
_Didn't I give you all that I got to give, baby?_

_*_

Two weeks went by of Harry moping around the flat, with Zayn doing his absolute best trying to console him. Each night Zayn ended up in Harry's bed, not being able to keep himself away when he could hear Harry crying through the thin walls.

Harry had tried to call Louis once, ignoring the way Zayn scolded him, but there was no answer anyway. But Louis never called. And he stopped visiting the diner. And he stopped showing up at Harry’s flat. And he stopped all contact.

It was another few days before Louis decided he needed to do something. He took a deep breath, staring at the door in front of him. He didn’t know what he was doing. He just stood there for a solid three minutes before finally working up the courage to knock on the door.

Zayn opened it, and a scowl settled over his face when he saw Louis. “Yeah?” he said, arm stretched out over the doorway.

“Hi, uh. Was wondering if Harry’s home?” Louis said, taking a step back.

“Nope,” Zayn said quickly, bringing his hand up to his mouth to bite at skin around his finger.

“Oh,” Louis said, looking down at his shoes for a moment before glancing back up. “Well, could you just tell him that I came around?”

Zayn stared at Louis and shook his head slightly. “Nah, mate. I’m not gonna tell him. Not gonna hurt him anymore.”

Louis looked at Zayn, eyes almost pleading before he nodded once, jaw setting, and stepped back. “Right,” and without another word, Louis was walking down the stairs and out onto the pavement, forcing his unwelcome tears away.

“Who was that?” Harry called from his bedroom, looking up from his book at Zayn who slumped down on the couch.

“Just a solicitor,” Zayn said, closing his eyes.

“At this hour? They’re getting desperate.”

Zayn nodded and scrubbed his hands over his face, before getting up and walking into Harry’s bedroom, lying down on his bed next to him, smiling a bit when Harry leaned into him.

__

***

__

At just about five minutes to two, the door dinged, and Harry looked up, his eyes widening in fear or sadness or something when he saw Louis walk in sheepishly.

Niall turned in his seat, his empty milkshake glass still in his hand, and his jaw set as he frowned. He turned back to look up at Harry, but Harry's eyes were focused so intently on Louis.

"Hi," Louis said quietly, not sitting down.

Harry swallowed thickly, not being able to find his voice. Louis had a fresh black eye, and Harry wanted to hold him and kiss the bruise.

"Um," Louis said, looking down at his feet. "Think we could talk?" he glanced at Niall quickly. "Alone?"

"Anything you need to say, you can say right here," Niall piped up defensively, staring over at Louis, his eyes narrowed just a bit.

"It's okay, Ni," Harry said, finally speaking. "Time to close up, anyway," he added when Duncan came out of the kitchen, not even bothering to yell at Harry for having people in there.

Duncan left Harry to lock up, and Niall hovered between Louis and Harry, eyeing Louis.

"Go home, Niall," Harry whispered, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

Niall frowned slightly, looking up at Harry. "I'll be at your flat," he grumbled, throwing another tiny glare at Louis as he walked down the pavement.

Louis stared after Niall, watching for a long time before Harry cleared his throat, and he looked back to him.

"What?" Harry asked softly, looking down at his shoes.

"I, I don't know," Louis murmured, moving his hands to his pockets, mirroring Harry.

Harry nodded, and turned around. "Then I'm going home."

"Harry, wait," Louis tried, stepping after him, stopping short when Harry turned back around abruptly.

"What?" Harry asked again, more firmly.

Louis looked up at him, feeling like they were way too close, and his breath caught in his throat for a moment before he could speak again. "I-I told him about us."

"Is that why you've a black eye?" Harry asked, staring down at him.

Louis nodded slowly, finally tearing away his gaze. "I wanted to apologize for the way I acted," he said quietly, shivering slightly as the wind picked up.

Harry wanted to pull him into his arms, warm him up and take him home and forgive him. "Okay," he said, instead.

"And I--"

"Louis!" Harry heard Trevor's voice shout before he spotted him storming towards them. Harry was instantly pushing Louis behind him, and he was about to say something, anything, when Trevor punched him directly in the face, knocking him to the ground.

Louis gasped, trying to break Harry's fall, luckily catching his head as they both fell. "What the fuck?" He shouted at Trevor.

"Shut up," Trevor growled, shoving Louis roughly out of the way so he could yank Harry up and hit him again, his knuckles cracking against Harry's nose.

Harry pushed his arms up in front of him, and spat out blood at Trevor's face, the other man stumbling back in clear disgust, and then Harry hit him back, his fist connecting with Trevor's jaw.

"Stop it!" Louis yelled, tears brimming his eyes as he watched Trevor slam Harry up against the brick wall of the building. He managed to squeeze his way between them, and Trevor didn't hesitate in punching Louis instead, knocking him out of the way.

Harry's blood boiled, and he felt his vision go blurry with anger, and he was surging at Trevor, forcing him to the ground as he sat on him, punching him as hard as he could in the face. But Trevor was stronger than Harry, shoving him off and rolling onto him, knocking his head against the pavement. "Stay away from him!" Trevor screamed, his fist punctuating each word with a punch.

Louis was sobbing as he used all his strength to push Trevor off of Harry, the older man spitting on Harry's unmoving body as he stumbled to his feet. He grabbed Louis' arm, yanking him up. "Let's go."

"Fuck you!" Louis yelled, shoving hard at Trevor's chest. "You fucking go. Leave!"

Trevor glared at Louis, reaching up to press his hand against his bleeding nose. "Fine. You fucking whore. Don't bother coming home," he spat, turning and walking away.

Louis collapsed next to Harry, tears falling down his face as he moved Harry's head into his lap. "H-Harry? Harry, baby. Can you hear me?"

Harry groaned quietly, but managed to nod, blinking one eye open. "I-I'm, I n-need to go h-home."

"I'm gonna get you home, Haz," Louis whispered. "Can you stand?" He didn't wait for an answer as he tried to help Harry up, his body leaned heavily against Louis,' but Louis didn't dare complain. He slung Harry's arm over his shoulder, and started walking them slowly down the pavement, mumbling apology after apology.

Louis struggled to get Harry up the stairs, and he was panting by the time he knocked on the door to his flat.

Niall answered, his eyes widening when he saw Harry. "Fuck. Zayn!" he called, helping Louis carry him in.

Zayn's nostrils flared when he saw Louis, instantly moving to replace him under Harry's arm, Louis getting out of the way quickly. "What the fuck happened?" Zayn growled, glaring at Louis as he and Niall brought Harry into his bedroom, gently lowering him down.

"M-my, Trevor. He must have f-followed me to the diner," Louis breathed out, trying to keep himself from crying more.

"Why the fuck were you at the diner?" Zayn gritted angrily, pushing Harry's fringe off his forehead.

"Stop yelling," Niall told him firmly, staring up at Zayn. "Louis, go get a wet towel," he instructed then, seeming to be the only calm one.

Louis nodded, wiping at his eyes as he hurried out of the bedroom, coming back a moment later with a towel wet with warm water, handing it to Niall.

Zayn carefully got Harry out of his jacket as Niall starting dabbing at his face, trying to get the blood off. "I think you should leave," Zayn said quietly, looking over at Louis.

"I just want to--" Louis started, but Zayn cut him off.

"Leave," he said firmly, frowning.

Louis nodded slowly, staring down at Harry and biting his lip, which was bleeding from where Trevor hit him.

"No," Harry rasped out, blinking one eye open again, looking up at Zayn. "He can s-stay."

"Look at you, Harry. You're fucked up," Zayn said, frantically.

"It p-probably would have been w-worse if he hadn't s-stopped it," Harry breathed.

Zayn let out a scoff. "It wouldn't have happened at all if he hadn't showed up in the first place!"

"I'll go, I'm sorry," Louis whispered, backing up.

"Everyone shut up," Niall said, looking at each of them. "Sit down," he said to Louis, and Louis obeyed, sitting in the desk chair. "And stop being an arsehole," he said, looking at Zayn.

"That's a joke right? I'm the arsehole?" Zayn said, eyebrows raised.

"Enough," Niall said calmly, focusing back on Harry. "What hurts, Haz?"

__

Eventually, Zayn sat on the other side of the bed, passing glares at Louis while Niall cleaned Harry up, deciding he was pretty sure nothing was broken.

"There. Now just relax, yeah?" Niall said, smiling down at Harry. "I'll make you some tea," he added, and grabbed Zayn's arm, yanking him out of the room.

__

Louis stared over at Harry, even though he stayed put where he was in the desk chair. He couldn't take his eyes away from Harry. And Harry's eyes stayed locked with Louis.'

"Come here," Harry requested, his voice shaking a little.

Louis nodded, and he glanced down at his feet, willing them to move. Thankfully, they did, and he got up, walking slowly over to Harry's bed, and he sat down, all while his eyes remained on the younger man.

"Stop looking at me like I'm dying," Harry said, pulling on a tiny smile. "My nose hurts. That's all," he whispered. It was only half a lie. His body had a solid ache, but he wasn't in much pain. It was irritating, if anything. He reached a hand up, his knuckles bruised and cut, and he gently touched Louis' face, and Louis leaned into the touch, his eyes closing.

"I'm sorry, Harry," he whispered, lifting his own hand to hold Harry's to his cheek. "I'm sorry for everything."

Harry thumbed under Louis' eye, and he nodded slowly. "Lay with me," he murmured hopefully.

Louis nodded once again, and he carefully lied down beside Harry, and Harry was instantly turning onto his side with a wince, causing Louis to frown. "Careful," he whispered, putting his hand delicately on Harry's chest.

Harry looked down at Louis, and he brought a hand to his waist, rubbing gently over his side. "Stop looking at me like that," he repeated, frowning.

Louis just let out a shaky breath, and nodded, closing his eyes. He let out a soft noise though, when he felt Harry's lips on his, and honestly, he couldn't help it when his arms wrapped around Harry's neck, kissing him back carefully. Harry's hands were clutching at Louis' coat now, almost as if he were desperate to keep the man close to him. And he was. Harry didn't want to be away from Louis. He didn't want to ever not be with him.

Louis felt his eyes burning as he met Harry's tongue with his own, his hands tangling gently in the back of his hair. He wanted Harry so badly. Wanted to have this all the time. This feeling of actually being cared about was so wonderful, and it was terrifying.

"Take your jacket off," Harry breathed after a few moments, and Louis was quick to obey, sitting up a little to slip out of his coat, tossing it to the ground; and Harry even shifted so he could sit up, and he pulled Louis back in, kissing him urgently, and it caused Louis to moan softly. "I want you," Harry whispered breathily against Louis' lips, and god, Harry's voice always just made Louis weak.

"You're hurt," he responded, though he didn't take his hands off of him.

"Don't care," Harry said, gripping Louis' hips so he could pull him on top of him, and then they were kissing again, needy and hot and wet.

Louis moaned into Harry's open mouth, his hands pressed to the mattress above his shoulders, to hold himself up. He hated that he was hard already, but Harry was too, and Louis rolled his hips down when Harry pushed his up.

It was [frantic](http://austinattack.tumblr.com/post/127272162837/it-was-frantic-they-didnt-even-get-out-of-their). They didn't even get out of their clothes fully before Harry was inside Louis, his lubricant-wet fingers digging into the fabric of his shirt over his hip. They didn't use a condom, after Louis didn't let Harry even reach for one. "Wanna feel you," he had said against Harry's swollen lips, and Harry just moaned and let Louis sink down on him bare.

They both stayed quiet; with tiny, strained moans into each other's mouths, and their eyes locked, foreheads pressed together.

Harry moved one arm so it was along the expanse of Louis' back, his hand in his hair to keep him close, and Louis' arms were wrapped around Harry's neck. "I love you," Harry murmured, and Louis squeezed his eyes shut, clinging to Harry tighter. "I fucking love you so much, Louis. Want you all the time. I want to be with you."

And Harry just kept whispering, kept telling Louis how much he loved him, kept breaking Louis' heart into fucking pieces.

So when Louis was almost on the edge, the pressure on his prostate too much, he only answered Harry with a whimper. "Come inside me," he begged, his voice cracking.

Harry groaned into Louis' neck, and he nodded, fucking up into him a few more times before he obeyed his command. He came hard, burying himself deeply as he spilled inside of Louis.

Louis came almost immediately after with a strained little whine, shooting streaks of white over Harry's black shirt. He kissed Harry desperately, his eyes squeezed shut tightly, tears slipping down his cheeks.

Harry just held him close, kissing him back exactly how Louis needed him to.

Once they caught their breath, and Louis got a hold of himself, he cupped Harry's cheeks, and smiled sadly down at him.

"I love you," Harry said again, just wanting Louis to believe him, and to stay with him.

"I know," Louis whispered, his eyes closing once more. He kissed Harry again, firmly, but just once, and then pulled back. He carefully got off of Harry's cock, and awkwardly pulled his jeans and underwear back up over his bum, not bothering to clean himself up. He helped tuck Harry away, and pressed another kiss to each corner of his mouth, and then his lips again. "I, um. I'll get a towel," he whispered, and got off of Harry, standing up. He stared down at the younger man, his eyes filling with tears again.

Harry was still smiling up at him, though there was a strange sense of knowing inside him, and he swallowed thickly. "Y-you'll come right back?" he asked, voice shaking.

Louis nodded jerkily, his bottom lip quivering.

"Promise?" Harry asked, the word broken by the crack in his voice.

Louis' took in a shaky breath, a few more tears slipping down his cheeks as he nodded. "P-promise." He leaned down once again, and pressed his lips to Harry's, staying there for a moment before he pulled back, and he looked at him, eyes tired. He nodded once and bit down on his lip, and finally turned from him, walking out the bedroom door, closing it softly behind him.

But Louis didn't come back. Not for two years.

_****  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me a comment!!?!?! <3  
> I'll say this straight up, it's not going to be a happily ever after. Just so you're all warned. Though I do have some other things planned for when I'm all finished. Little bits and pieces of parts of their relationship, and just stuff and thangs.  
> Thank you all for reading!


	10. Love Gone Wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. I honestly can not believe this is finished. I must apologize for how sporadic my posting has been. I started this over a year ago. And now I'm posting the last chapter omg. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me! This final, short chapter has torn out my heart.  
> I guess the only warning for this chapter is that you might cry if you're slightly emotional? Maybe?  
> Also! The wonderful ptp-explicit did a commission for me on the previous chapter! So make sure you go back and re-read that one, and check out the hyperlink hidden! ;)  
> Please forgive me. And please stay tuned.  
> Thank you all so much <3 <3 <3  
> (I've included the whole song in the little lyric bit in this one, because I think this song is like, the theme kinda of my story maybe.)

[Baby](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3LH-fMNOAA) baby, don't you come my way no more. I don't want you knocking at my door.  
Baby baby, why'd you treat me so damn mean, when I gave you my love more than you'd ever seen. Baby baby, oh can't you see my pain? Don't you understand what it's like to feel this way?  
Baby baby, don't you come my way no more. 'Cause it won't be like the way it was before.   
Baby baby, think you got this story wrong. You have misunderstood me and my loving all along. Baby baby, could've all worked out just fine,  
but you kept breaking me down and working me time after time.  
And you say baby baby, oh can't I see your pain. Don't I understand what it's like to feel this way?  
Well let me tell you baby, baby baby, won't you step into these shoes. Walk a mile with me and then tell me who hurt who?  
We can go our separate ways, hoping to find a better day. When there's no one left to chase, one truth remains:  
we're one and the same.   
Ours was just a love gone wrong. Don't that sound like the same old song?   
This time I'm really moving on, 'cause baby I'm gone, I'm gone gone gone.  
I'm gone for good.

_*_

 

It felt like a repeat of the last time. Louis just stared at the door with the slanted number eight on it, setting his bag down by his feet. He lifted a shaking hand to rap his knuckles against the door; half hoping that no one was home.

It opened though, to reveal Harry standing there, shirtless, with his stupid butterfly tattoo on display. He looked older. His eyes were hooded before he took in who was standing there, and Louis’ heart broke as he watched Harry’s eyes widen with fear or sadness or pain or something.

“Lou?” Harry whispered, his voice croaky from sleep. It was a question. Like he wasn’t really sure that Louis was actually standing in front of him.

“Hi,” Louis responded, voice just as quiet as Harry’s was.

They stared at each other for a long minute, Harry’s eyes frantically searching Louis’ face, before he finally cleared his throat. “What are you doing here?” he asked. He wanted to ask why he decided to come back after  two years. Why he was standing on Harry’s doorstep after not having even one tiny bit of contact for that long.

__

Those two years ago, Louis didn’t come back with the towel for Harry, and he didn’t come back for another few days, and he didn’t come back for another few weeks. Harry had called his house, and when Trevor answered, he pretended to be someone that was indeed, not Harry, and Trevor told him that Louis didn’t live there anymore.So Harry went to Liam’s house, and with sad eyes and a frown, Liam explained that Louis packed up all his stuff and left London. “He told me you knew,” Liam had whispered. “I don’t know where he went exactly. He said he needed to leave.”

So Harry’s heart had been broken all over again.

__

Louis looked down at his shoes, biting hard on his lip. “I don’t know. I just thought,” Louis paused, glancing back up at Harry as he heard a woman’s voice filtering through the door, asking Harry where the sugar was.

Harry didn’t even flinch. He just kept staring at Louis with that intense, sad gaze, and Louis felt like he was going to throw up.

“You’ve got a girl over,” Louis stated.

Harry’s eyebrows furrowed, before he tried to soften his face. “Yeah. What of it?”

Louis let out a shaky breath, looking down at his feet again. “I just thought--”

“You thought what?” Harry said, angry now. “You thought you could just up and leave and not say a damn thing? And then come back almost two fucking years later and expect me to just,” Harry stopped, feeling his eyes well up. He saw Louis’ bottom lip quiver, and he took a deep breath, glancing down at Louis’ bag. “Do you need a place to stay?”

Louis quickly shook his head, not looking at Harry at all as he bent down to pick up his bag. “I can stay with Liam,” he said, wiping at his eyes with his free hand. “I’m sorry I came here.”

Harry didn’t say anything as Louis turned to leave, and he watched him practically run down the stairs. He closed the door and leaned his forehead against it, squeezing his eyes shut as tears started to fall down his face. He bit his lip and walked back into the kitchen, sitting down next to Zayn, and buried his face in his hands.

“Who was that?” Gemma asked, frowning as she stared at her brother.

Harry let out a quiet whimper shaking his head. “No one.”

Zayn’s eyes widened, and his nostrils flared. “Was it Louis?” When Harry answered with another whimper, Zayn stood from his chair so quickly that he almost knocked it over.

“Zee, don’t,” Harry pleaded, looking up at Zayn.

Zayn ignored Harry, walking to the door and slipping his shoes on, before he left, taking the stairs two at a time so he could get down to the street. He looked around before he spotted Louis, and he jogged to catch up with him, shouting his name as he slapped his hand probably too hard on his shoulder, spinning him around.

Louis turned and stared at Zayn, eyes wide. “Oh, uh,” he started, but Zayn cut him off.

“How fucking dare you?” Zayn shouted angrily, ignoring the way that Louis took a nervous step back. “How could you even think that coming back was a good idea? How could you do that to him?”

Louis started shaking his head, squeezing his eyes shut tightly as Zayn yelled at him. “I’m sorry!” Louis tried, but Zayn wasn’t finished.

“You fucked him up so bad, Louis. You ruined him,” Zayn said, voice softening a bit. “I’ve never seen him so fucked up.”

Louis covered his face with his hands, rubbing his fingers hard against his eyes. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt him. I would take it all back if I could. I never would have done anything if I knew how badly it was going to hurt him,” Louis was crying now, shaking his head back and forth.

Zayn frowned, feeling slightly guilty about yelling, but he stayed stoic. “Don’t come back again. Don’t you think he’s been through enough?” he asked, voice bitter.

Louis swallowed thickly, and nodded, finally looking back up at Zayn. “I’m sorry,” he repeated. “Please, just. Just tell him I’m sorry.”

Zayn stared down at Louis, and he nodded once. “Just don’t come back.”

Louis kept their eyes locked, biting down harshly on his bottom lip. “Okay,” he whispered, and he sniffled, grabbing his bag again, before he started to walk again, away from Zayn.

***

A few days later, unable to help himself, Louis walked into the diner, and slowly moved over to the counter, seeing a blonde girl there who smiled at him.

"Hi," she said. "How's it going?"

"I'm fine, thank you," Louis said, biting his lip. "Um, is Harry here?" he asked timidly.

The girl shook her head, reaching below the counter to get a menu. "He doesn't work here anymore," she said, putting the laminated paper down.

"Louis stared at her, and he felt his heart ache, before he nodded. "Okay, thank you," he murmured, before he turned away. He stopped though, and looked over at a booth. “I uh. Could I have a coffee?”

The girl nodded, and turned, while Louis sat down in a booth, his hands shaking.

An hour later, Louis was still there, staring down at the table, trying to ignore the throbbing of his heart. He deserved this, really.

"Thought maybe you would have broken this habit by now," Harry’s voice said as he slipped into the booth opposite Louis.

Louis just stared at Harry, his eyes wide, his hands clinging to the mug in front of him. "She, um. She's not nearly as efficient as you," he said softly, showing Harry his emptied mug. "Been ready for more since ten minutes ago."

Harry smiled a bit, glancing over to the girl who was leaning on the counter over a magazine, popping her gum. "Meghan," he said loud enough for her to hear, and she looked up quickly.

"Oh, hi, Harry. Sorry," she muttered, and hurried over to the table, pulling out her note pad. "What can I get you?"

"Coffee. Another for him, too," Harry said, nodding his head to Louis. "Thanks, love."

Meghan nodded, and moved away then, making sure to go quickly as she brought over the coffee pot and a mug, filling Harry's and then Louis' before she walked away again.

"She'll learn," Harry said, cupping his hands around the mug the same way Louis was.

Louis nodded a bit, keeping his eyes down. Both of them stayed quiet for a long while, until Louis sighed. "Harry, I--"

"Don't," Harry said, cutting Louis off. "I get it. I forgive you."

"You shouldn't," Louis murmured, frowning.

"Well I do. Don't make this dramatic, Lou."

Louis looked up at him again, and he nodded once. "Okay."

"We can be friends, can't we?" Harry asked after a too long silence.

Louis felt his throat closing, and he swallowed thickly. "Of course," he whispered, his heart aching painfully in his chest. "I mean, you've got someone anyway, yeah?" he added, pulling on a fake smile, trying to pretend his eyes weren't burning. "Bet she's really pretty."

"You mean my sister? She looks like me, so yeah, she's gorgeous," Harry said, smirking over at Louis. "She was visiting this weekend. Stayed at my place."

"Oh," Louis said, suddenly feeling so, so stupid. You've got a girl over. He remembered saying to Harry, and he'd just agreed like it was nothing.

“You’re one hell of a person to get over,” Harry said, then. “You’d think, since you weren’t there, that it would be like, easy.”

Louis would have winced at that, if he wasn’t so frozen. “Are you over me now?”

“Thought I was getting there,” Harry whispered. “And then you just. Showed up again.”

“I shouldn’t have left,” Louis murmured.

“No. You shouldn’t have.”

Louis looked up at Harry, his eyes brimmed. “I, I loved you too, you know.”

Harry swallowed hard, his eyes cast down. “I did know,” he whispered.

“And I was afra--”

“I know. You were afraid of it,” Harry finished for him. “But you, God, Louis. You broke my heart,” he said, voice cracking. “You left me. Without even saying goodbye.”

Louis’ bottom lip trembled, and he squeezed his eyes shut, nodding ashamedly.

Harry pressed his fingers against his eyes, and sighed shakily. “We just. We didn’t get the timing right. It wasn’t like. Meant to be or whatever.”

Louis felt his eyes spill over at that, and he shook his head slightly, the rejection burning in his chest.

“Star crossed, weren’t we?” Harry whispered with a bitter little laugh, looking back up at Louis, meeting his watery blue eyes.

“Yeah,” Louis mumbled, wanting so badly to reach out and touch the other, just to brush his fingers against his knuckles.

“I um. I’ve gotta get going,” Harry said, his voice cracking. “I’ll see you around?” he asked hopefully, standing up.

Louis just nodded, his eyes still wet. “Y-yeah.”

Harry smiled tearfully, and nodded as well, before he pulled out enough money to pay for them both. “On me, yeah?” he murmured, giving Louis one last smile before he turned slowly, and left the diner.

Louis watched Harry leave, until he couldn’t see him anymore, and then he pressed his face into his hands, letting out a tiny sob.

Louis went to Liam’s. And soon, he got a job at Liam’s office. And he got his own flat. And he called his mother, only to be scolded about his life choices. And he got a cat. And he took a cooking class. And he cried. Way too much.

But Louis learned to be alone. As did Harry.

Sometimes things don’t work out. And people realize their worth, and they realize who matters, and they realize what matters. And people leave, and people get hurt, and people change. And Louis and Harry would both just have to learn to accept that, even though it was painful.

And if another year later, they coincidentally run into each other at Oliver’s, and decide to sit together and talk for three hours until the newest worker there has to ask them to leave at two in the morning, then maybe there was some hope left to mend their matching broken hearts.

_****  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sigh. Please don't kill me.  
> Also. PLEASE check out the album that the chapter titles mirror. Rose Ave. by You+Me. It's so beautiful and heartbreaking.  
> And also check out the song the title is from. 'Light' by Sleeping At Last. That's one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard! (even if the lyric is technically wrong in the title of this story haha)  
> Again, keep a look out. It may not be over over. Maybe.


End file.
